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  3. Well, good evening. Why are you kids still up, it's past your bed-time! Oh, you haven't heard a night-night story yet? Well I've got a special surprise for you! Tiny, baby Ogr-... The ground shakes, glasses of milk show ripples, Jurassic Park-style. Dame Juicy crashes through the wall, right next to an open door and bellows fiercely. The children seem to enjoy it. The narrator is visibly upset and has possibly soiled himself in fear. She sits down near the kids and puts about 7 of them on her lap. "TELL STORIES!" Dame Juicy yells, the kids join in and chant "Stories! Stories!". Defeated and still pretty sure he pooped his pants, the narrator continues the tale of the tiny, baby Ogre. Nurgle claws and boots did their ugly work that day, as Ogre after Ogre was wheeled off the pitch in pain. The nasty Vampire Magic may have helped the Nurgle team, but at least the Ogres managed to make some nasty Rotters scream. Tiny, baby Ogre did his best to help his pals, bandaging their wounds and putting ice-packs on the gals. The Ogre Captain, Ellen, had to sit out this nasty game, So she hung out with tiny, baby Ogre and told him the story of her name. You see kids, an Ogre's always named after a great feat, a battle or a war, or something really big they got to eat! In Ellen's case, she earned her name during a great war, where the Empire of Men hired Ogres for their corps. From very far away, she descended down the slopes, to support the Human troops and for quite a bit of gold! She faced an evil army of Chaos on that day, "Xenos" is what they called them, they thought they came from outer space. Ellen would do battle and hold fast on the front-line, while the silly, little humies would often run away and whine. She tore through ranks and ranks of the Chaos with her teeth, leaving little meat and bone, falling to the heath. "Ripper Ripley" 's what they called her, but Ellen did think, that the name was much too silly, so they changed it just a wink. Tiny, baby Ogre listened on with joy, as the scarred and mighty Ogre told her story to the little boy. "It's time to head back home" says Ellen as the sun descends, "We got our next match waitin' for us and you'll never guess who's next?" "The Vampire who did his nasty Magic won't be there, but we got one of his buddies to come play us fair and square!" Tiny, baby Ogre smiles and looks up at his friend "Another day on the Blood Bowl pitch, where the fun times never end." ----- ----- ----- The narrator looks up from his book and sees that Dame Juicy has fallen asleep, she's surrounded by kids, huddled up against the big, warm and fluffy Ogre. Oooooh... I hope she doesn't roll over... . WEDNESDAY 04/07/2018 - 19h00 UTC. WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs BAT LOSERS TWITCH YOUTUBE
  4. Season 6, Match Day 2 breakdown, brought to you by the People's Champion: Griff Oberwald! Griff: Greetings and salutations! Once more, it is I, Griff Oberwald. Exemplar of the Human Race! We're in for another week of forced labor, down here in the basement of my own personal nightmare. *sigh* Last week went fairly well for the Women with Attitude but what's more important is that my prediction was spot on! The game was a 1-1 draw and I am the absolute God of Blood Bowl! Now, for this week's match. On Thursday, the Ogres will face off against @Bantha and his Vampires. Bantha is a veteran of the sport and a well-respected coach who deserves nothing more than my praise and... [Suddenly, a ghostly fist the size of a Dralaskan cabbage manifests itself out of thin air and slams Griff into the table. Over the course of a few seconds, the rest of the apparition reveals itself.] OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEAH! Shut your cakehole, skinny boy! Yeah! [Griff stumbles briefly but manages to quickly compose himself] Griff: What in Sigmar's name is going on? The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage: The Macho Man heard about the upcoming match between the Women with Attitude and the Vampires, yeah, and he has decided to come out of retirement to tell that loser, Bantha, that his team of blood-sucking pipsqueaks doesn't stand a chance! The fancy-men in black will get chewed up and spit out, yeah, like this motherlovin' Slim Jim! [The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage summons a pack of Slim Jims and violently eats one without removing the wrapper.] The last time the ladies faced a Vampire team, the pitch was CLEARED on turn 7! Yeah! We will do exactly the same to the Vampires... or Vampiers, whatever their name is! The Macho Man isn't afraid of a coach who can't even spell his team's name consistently, yeah. Don't worry about no Bloodlust rolls, Bantha, yeah. BECAUSE DEAD MEN NEED NO BLOOD! [Alarmed by the screams of a former WWF Champion, a handsome coach comes running into the room] C2MC: Quickly, Griff, grab those Ghost-Tranquilizers! Griff: WHY DO YOU HAVE GHOST-TRANQUILIZERS? C2MC: Don't argue with me and grab 'em! [Swiftly, the Human Superstar pounces towards a nearby cabinet and grabs a small rectangular box out of it. With the finesse of an Elven Thrower, he launches the box at the handsome coach. Unfortunately, the handsome coach isn't an actual Blood Bowl player and doesn't quite catch the small box. It shatters into a million pieces against the wall.] C2MC: Ah, crud. The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage: Hold on, brother. There's no need for such drastic measures, yeah. The macho man is just... lonely and desperate for attention. You don't know how sad and quiet it is out there on the spirit plain, yeah. The Macho Man wants you to give him a second chance, brother! C2MC: Are you kidding me? You let Queef Latina die! ...I cried for three days! Griff: Just... give him a job so he'll pipe down... . C2MC: ... Fine. You're back on as our Smack Talker, Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage. But don't you dare come within five feet of any injured player! The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage: OHHHH YEEEEAH! MACHO MADNESS HAS RETURNED TO THE OCC! You won't regret it, brother! Yeah! [As the Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage and the handsome coach talk about their new arrangement, Griff rubs his temples with his middle-and index fingers.] Griff: If it's alright with you guys... I'm going to go and rest for a little bit. That sucker punch really messed up my noggin'. [Griff exits the room and walks through the large halls, obviously built to accommodate the Ogre team. He slowly looks around, as if to confirm that nobody's followed him. He opens the door to the Women with Attitude locker room silently. Once he's halfway through the door opening, Griff whispers softly... .] Griff: Hey, are you already here? [An unseen figure pulls Griff into the locker room and muffles his voice as big, sausagy fingers clamp around the door and pull it shut... .] THURSDAY 22/03/2018 20h00 UTC THE VAMPIERS STRIKES BACK VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE TWITCH YOUTUBE
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