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Orca Cola Championship

Sliceanddice

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  1. Thx for bringing up this event. I had a blast writing stories. Also congrats @Fantus. Now you should give Dogbert a little break, which would allow him to spend some time with lovely lady.
  2. Good luck for other contestants and let the Nuffle be with you. By the way. Nes: Don't look through the money vault too thoroughly.... something blue might be missing. Signed Still-not-dead Mr. Turner
  3. Mr Turner removes his helmet and whispers to the Nes'es ear - Psst, this is just a trick - he starts very silently and squeaky - Last week I took acting classes but I have mistaken the room number and instead attending "play dead classes" i was participating in "play deadly classes". But, to be honest, maybe it was better. Mr Turner winks to Nes and again puts expression of anger, instanity and bloodlust on his face.
  4. Mr Turner enters the beach wearing... plated armor. He is stomping steadily and full of strenght. - Mr Turner -Handsome coach starts talking pretty confused - as you are aware this is a swiming suits contest. Mr Turner looks at him and starts laughing. In his eyes there is no fear. Only madness and bloodlust - This is my swiming suit - He roars with a deep voice... how it is even possible? - I swim only in blood of my enemies. Probably adventure with baby ogre or long-term warpstone exposure made Mr Turner pretty insane. Hovewer love is insanity, so maybe he now has better odds. Who knows? Probably only Lennifer and Handsome Coach.
  5. "I should keep this key. Couse of this competition i have became weaker and.... Bleeeh nicer" - Mr Turner whispered to himsef so silently that nobody could hear that.
  6. Nes should check his pocket. Mr Turner belives that it is there again.... i mean.... it was there for whole time.
  7. Mr Turner Enters hall rapidly holding ogres baby by his hand. - My Luv. - he starts to shout triumphantly. - I have found him. Let me tell the whole story: As You had wished I took your offspring to the sewers to show him, with my pack secrets of skaven's art of blood bowl. Everything started pretty normaly. We showed him our hidden blood bowl weapon - assasination. I have showed him how to stab people and other humanoid creatures using hidden blades without beeing noticed by the ref. He was a very sharp student. I have found also one advantage, which your offspring has. Because of his size, he can conceal much bigger blade. This fact increase his potential in field of assasination. We decioded that zweihander will have proper size for him. After that we were training his strenght. For this we used ancient skavens sport - tug of war. Hovewer baby ogre was so strong that he was able to beat dozen of stormvermins, so we decided that this type of training would be futile for him. At the end we started training his speed. We have choosen the biggest and longest sewer channel and started playing tag with him. At first moment he wasn't excited to do this so we had changed our tactic. We attached huge chunks of meat to the gutter runners, so he would get a snack if he catch one of us. He started run like a wind. He was so fast, that when it was his turn to run from us he fleed so fast that we weren't able to catch him. So my whole pack have been serching him whole day and finally found him. And don't belive anyone who say that he jumped into cauldron full of warpstone and we had to spent whole day to remove effects of mutation. During the whole explanation Mr Turner were trying to hide long tail, which has grown from the ogres offsrping rear.... it may be handy later when he starts his blood bowl career... and speaking about handy.... we hope that Ogres can only count to two couse his number of arms could increase in short period of time.
  8. Mr One-Turner shows up in a tabard with archery target painted on his chest. "Excuse me, my luv. I have lost your offspring in the sewers where i live. I'm ready for punishment." ------------------------------ Sorry, but because of some personal issues my head is occupied with other things and I can't come up with a decent fluff. That was fun competition and I'm realy glad that i was able to participate.
  9. Welp.... this gonna be... interesting. @brocCooLi don't spoil this child with your trinkets and baubles payed with gold, not in blood.
  10. Mr Turner entered the hall and took a big, stained parchment from his pocket. He cleared his throat and strats to read. Once upon the times, before Nuffle gave us rules of Blood Bowl, there was an Ogre village, full of mighty warriors. However, in this village, lived one ogre, who was the smallest and weakest of them all. His name was Benny. Ogres were aware that Benny is weakest of them, so they protected him, couse ogres cares about their kin. Ogres led and peaceful live, ransacking nearby villages and eating humans and their stock. However this perfectly normal and peaceful livestyle was disturbing for humans. They hired a mighty warrior and his army, Etherak von Hill. Warrior started to ambush ogres when they were going alone from the village. Almost half of them was killed in one year span. Humans were not fighting honorfuly, using tricks to caught ogres off-guard. After some time Etherak von Hill was the only human name, which stirked fear in ogres heart. Ogres refused to go out of village, however they needed supplies of food, which were shrinking tremendously. Benny maybe was the weakest, hovewer he was also the braves and maybe the most stupid of them. When night has come he sneaked out of the his village to plunder and bring his village some food. During his journey though a forest he saw lights behind a trees and heard noises - laughters and groans of pain. He came there to saw a humans warriors torturing one of his cousins, who went missing few days ago. Benny didn't notice the flags marking encampment - blue flags with a mountain engraved on them. This was Hill's encampment. Benny was furious, he run into the center of the encampment and started to bash and smash humans. Even he was the weakest in the village, his fury added him strenght of a thousands ogres. He noticed a man in the most shiny armor and started to chase him. Without his filthy tactics Etherak wasn't able to fight with ogre, especially this furious. He started to run and Billy was chasing him. They were running for so long that both of them started to hear eerie song in their heads. The chase continued untill morning. Etherak realized that he was running towards ogres village.When he noticed that he lost concentration and tripped over the rock and fall. Village alarmed by the noises went to check what was happening and saw Benny grabbing their bigest foe from a ground by legs and arms and splitting him in half. This was a realy glorious day for the ogres. With their enemy dead they were able to safe some missing ogres and peacefuly plunder humans villages to get supplies. Everything becase of one brave ogre. Benny, as the bravest of them all was nominated for the chieftain and got the name glorious name Benny da Hill-Splitter.
  11. R. I. P. Mads. Your cousin - Gen. Eric Villain, highest commander of army of Nuln, will mourn you.
  12. Mister Natural One-Turner just wants to confirm that previously mentioned rat-ogre was indeed totally random and was not part of his pack.
  13. Rat enters the room. He moves more steadily than previously, but also slowly and more catiously. In his small hands he got a big, ragged bag full of something. - My luv, - He starts unwrapping the bag - as You asked i prepared proper gifts for you. First thing is a skull... but not just a regular skull. I quickly grabbed Sid's Vicious head when he was trying to reassemble himself, and made a great spaulder out of it. I wonder how he will be playing without it, but looking at his last performance I assume that he don't need it. Of course he was pretty ancient, so this is the Old part. Next we got fangs of my cousin, who You killed with such a grace on arena, which me and my pack prepared for ya. I made a butifyl necklace out of his teeths. He was freshly killed, so it could be considered as a New part. Last night I have sneaked into the Nes'es house and I have stol.... i mean... borrowed a key to his money vault. You can use it and buy great dress for yourself. And for the last part. Sometimes, when I stop breathing i turn a little blue, so the last gift is me my luv. After this words rat starts to hold his breath. He was able to remain without breathing for about two minutes and collapsed to the floor unconscious. What is strange, maybe because of living within area where warpstone is pretty common, his fur turned blue a little bit when he fell to the floor.
  14. Nes talking to himself in a third person. Neses ego bigger than his lack of taste. Gold and silk are so ugly - Rat starts to giggle.
  15. @C2MC Mr Natural One-Turner is recovering from his injury. Because of that he got enough time to take a participation in special course of Ogre's Language. Rat, wobling, enters the room and looks at magnificent ogre woman Ma Luv" - He Squicked deeply - I wrot da poem He clears his throat and starts reciting: "Roses are red Violets are blue I like your face Ughh Last verse me bonehead couse ya buity" Rat makes simple, clumsy bow and smiles akwardly with complacence waiting for opinion of his beloved one. ********************************************************************************************************************* After his display of (lack of) poetry skills One-Turner continues. "Me prepared special date for ya" - he says trying to squick as deep as possible, grabing Lennifer by her hand - "Follow me" They walk a little bit to the nearby mountain. One-Turner guides ogre woman to the cave. When she enters, firstly she sees tens of red eyes piercing from the darkness. One of them are siuated a lot higher than the others, approximately at the high of Lennifer's eyes. Suddenly hundreds of warpstone torchess enlightens the cave exposing a fighting arena with great, black-furred rat-ogre inside of it. "Ma pack give green stone to ma cousin to change him. He will be your sparrin.... i mean.... punching bag for this evening." - after this exposition rat moves to the left side of cave to the object covered with dirty gray canvas. When he removes it, Jennifer sees two horses on the large stone table. Both skinned, one rosted and one raw. - "Me heard you like horse, but me don't know ..... ugh..... raw or cooked. So me prepared little snack for ya and options to choose from, ma luv." Rat starts to smile nervously hoping that Jennifer would like this kind of gift.
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