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Orca Cola Championship


Orca Cola Directors
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    +10 (Apr-Sep) / +11 (Oct-Mar)
  • a.k.a.
    not sweedo

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  1. As per this, the Saloon will not be operating as smoothly in S11. However, I shall persevere and bring it back to life after letting things slide towards the back end of S10. Apologies for that.
  2. The Time Fu Koala is doing its work next weekend. Also within the season break, but not exactly the same as the North Hemisphericals. Interesting.
  3. The plugin that allows the issuing of OCC coins to deserving coaches is on the fritz has been completely disabled. No new coins, no transfers. Please bear with us during these difficulties. Our priority is to get Season 11 started on time. This issue will be resolved as soon as possible. Please note that the OCC prize pool is still open for business. Message me directly if you would like to cash out your OCC coins for a prize before the S10 winners get all cashed up. EDIT: I am now managing the OCC currency via spreadsheet. You're welcome. All players recently deserving of coins have been contacted advising them of the process. If you have not been contacted and you think you should have received coins, please message me.
  4. Thanks C2MC for this excellent story arc. I thoroughly enjoyed taking part, and it's a very deserved award. I leave you with a picture of Lenny at the after party, wondering what might have been. I can't say I'm too disappointed that one of my key players has been saved from death by snu snu. Congrats Dogbert!
  5. I'm really glad you mentioned the MD 7 and 9 fluff because those were amazing.
  6. You just try and stop me. Bring on more fresh talent! Join us!
  7. Hey, Nes, you can still come to the match, tickets and pupcorn are on me. I have a better record against minotaurs than elves, anyway.
  8. *steps over Dogbert's body* The honour to bring this to a climax on the field... I will not disappoint you. Erm. Was mentioning cold feet a joke about the lack of hair? If so, awesome. Apothecary!
  9. It may surprise you, but I was not always the hugely talented, gorgeous, heart-throb player you see before you today. Who's really really ridiculously good looking? This guy. My origins were not so glamorous. I grew up poor, but happy, on my parents' egg farm. You heard right. Egg farm, not chickens. We farmed any animal that lays eggs. So I know a little something something about this most vital of foodstuffs. Firstly, dat protein. These days you can't be a rock star or a superstar blood bowlers without hitting the gym and making gains. Pound for pound, chicken eggs have more total protein content than meat. Word. Fact number two. Been pranked by your housemate who hard boiled all your eggs? I know the feeling. Here's a neat trick to tell between a cooked and uncooked egg. Spin it like a record. If the insides are liquid, the egg won't spin well cos it's all sloshing around. If the insides are solid, it'll go like a fidget spinner. Bonus physics included in this fact. 3. You can tell what colour egg a chicken will lay by looking at the earlobes. Five. Echidna eggs are bloody hard to collect. The echidna will lay on its back, pop the egg out and immediately store it in its pouch. If you don't intercept the egg right then, give up. The echidna is one of two mammals that lay eggs, which is totally believable when you consider this is all happening in a world inhabited by dragons and shit. VI. Dragon eggs are even harder to collect, but the real problems start once you have them. Ain't no one shadier than a dragon egg dealer. [number Lennifer can count to]. The study of eggs is called oology. The study of the sound my fans make when I enter a room is oooooology. Finally, eggs make great protest props. Egging pompous gits is a time honoured tradition, most recently continued by a young man who egged a racist, fascist politician the day after he blamed a mass shooting of brown people on excessive immigration. It was fucking awesome. The boy was rescued from the far right thug supporters by the police, who subsequently released him without charge. Anyway. I am the eggman. Coo-coo-cachoo. See you on the pitch next week, Lennifer. Any chance I get, I'm gonna be hitting (on) you.
  10. I know a lot about eggs. More details to follow, after I have a nap.
  11. Study is piled high with as yet unpacked boxes. The struggle continues. So you're definitely not closest to the mark, but I'll give your coin back.
  12. I have now seen the intersection between furry and neck-down alopecia fetishes. Amazing.
  13. Oh hey y'all. I faked getting knocked out early in my match then switched a dummy into my place for the rest of the game. Big shout out to the boys for winning against the previously undefeated team without me. Anyway, I just rowed my boat into shore and I brought my dog, Moose. I would appreciate it if no one ate him. So I brought my fishing gear as well, but the only thing I really want to catch is Lennifer's eye.
  14. Lennifer can volley my gnob, anytime. See you on the sand.
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