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Orca Cola Championship


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  1. These coins were given to me by generous gentlemen, so I feel somewhat more responsible on how I use them.
  2. If my tiniest Ogre kills the fattest Elf, it'll net me 30 points. I'm so out, you guys.
  3. Season 9, Match Day 3: A nice, relaxing game of MADNESS! Watch the game HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs COON AND FRIENDS There's two things the Women with Attitude hate more than anything else in the world; diet sodas and Claw. I sit on the sideline as the gals stumble on to the field. Nauseated, my trusty bucket by my side, praying to the God Motilius to rid me of my sickness. My stomach-issues are quickly forgotten, as @Motb and I partake in what can only be described as "Whose Bowl is it Anyway?" where everything is made up and the rolls don't matter. This game has everything from amazingly agile Ogres, dodging through Chaos lines without ever needing Break Tackle all the way to a suicidal Minotaur who will not rest until he ruins Motb's day. There is little I can write to do this game justice and I know that I often describe our games as "insanely stupid" and "absolute madness", but I can't help it. Trust me, you can't make this stuff up. As mentioned by @Mongloom, there were a few moments I definitely misplayed. And perhaps we would've won if it was not for my inferior coaching skills. We will be on the lookout for those chain-pushes in the future! Good game to Motb. May his new Minotaur not sabotage him at every turn.
  4. Yeah, @Jester77 saw the chain-push too, but I did not. I may have played this game for a little while, but there's still lots of things like that we need to improve on. It's not that I don't like chain-pushes, it's that I don't see them. I usually don't, unless I messed up somewhere. Which is probably what happened.
  5. Well, I got very close but did not manage to score. What a grand surprise!
  8. I think your strategy of marking the Ogres so the Pass becomes more difficult is one option, but since most of my gals have Break Tackle it's less effective. If you have the manpower, forming a line of players in your own back-field is often the way to go, forcing as many dodges as possible (usually employed with great results by Tackle-heavy teams like Dwarfs). I did get a few good hits in! I was a little worried after the first half, since all of your KOs got back up so I tried real hard to take out the guys you dumped in my back-field, hoping you'd fail one of your 2+ rolls so I could steal. Which actually happened. Unfortunately for me, my own GFI failure gave you another shot at the score. A very fun game, even in defeat. Well played to you, good sir.
  9. Sort of. Against the Dwarfs we were unable to put up much of a fight in general. And in this game she spent most of her time trying to stick to a Pro Elf Blitzer. She did win the MVP for the first game of the Season, so we're ever so slowly building her up towards Legendary status. Season 8 saw her play the back-field more but now that we have a secondary AG3 Ogre, Ellen is back on the Line of Scrimmage. She just needs to warm up to it a bit more, I'm sure of it! Bichelle Omaha has been stealing the show when it comes to causing pain and punching gits in the face, though. She's had a great Season 9 so far.
  10. Season 9, Match Day 2: Is Elf-Turf made of actual Elves? Watch the game HERE! ZARAGUZ UPRISERS VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE Why am I still awake, writing this? Well, this game was BOSS and I cannot go to sleep without trying to talk you in to watching the Women with Attitude's escapades if you have the time. We face or oldest enemy (and favourite food), the dreaded Elves. Dodgy, sneaky and very good at running away from our gals. @BBart's Zaraguz Uprisers have a couple of well developed players but the team is relatively small in the grand scheme of things. Jorge Valdano comes with Tackle, Dodge and Guard and Savo Milosevic brings the OTT threat with +MA, Blodge, Sprint and Sure Feet. Additionally, the Inducement Phase provides him with a Wizard, Hubris Rakarth and a Bloodweiser Babe. BBart is kind enough to let us go first and our offensive half is actually pretty good this time around. We play around the Wizard pretty well, never providing a real Fireball opportunity. Our plan was to have Lennifer Jaw-Rends carry the ball, but a Quick Snap got one of our Gnobbies right under the kick-off so we rolled with it. Since Hubris was around, an Ogre carrier was still not going to be super-safe and Bone-Head is always a looming threat. During the first half, Kandarian Bootfook puts in a lot of work, fouling to his heart's content. Maiming and even killing a few Elves. He gets brutally murdered himself a bit later on, but it's all worth it! The ladies punch, kick and throw their booties around and by the time turn 5 rolls by, we have reduced our opponent's pitch-presence by about half. BBart commits hard and a shoddy scatter sees the pig-skin ripe for the plucking by a single Catcher, lurking behind our lines. To help us recover, the classic 4 Bone-Head turn happens. So now we have 4 ladies doing nothing but we still have a shot at the Ball Carrier. Lennifer weaves through an Elf-screen, GFI's a few times and makes contact but all she manages is a push. Elf-things happen and it ends up 1-0 for the Uprisers on Turn 6. Then Ogre things happen and we toss Donkey Punch III across the field, evening up the score. BBart sets up for the OTT, but the crowd decides this game is a lot of fun and a Riot provides both teams with an extra turn. We force as many rolls on the Elves as possible and luckily for us, one of the final 2+ Dodges needed for the Touchdown fails. 1-1 at half time. Now, most of the Elves we managed to remove were KO's, so when half-time comes around the Uprisers have a pretty solid team on the field. Bloodweiser Babes doing their thing and all that. We play super-defensive, hoping to destroy any and all Elves that make it to the back-field. Eventually, we decide to move up a bit more and pressure the Thrower hidden all the way in BBart's end-zone. This half, however, is plagued with double 1's. Gnoblars failing their Dodges and the most crucial one, Dame Juicy failing a GFI (with re-roll) after the Elves messed-up and lost the ball. It's pretty early on in our turn so we are way out of position, and the Uprisers have little trouble snatching that pesky oval object right back and run it in for the 2-1. Good news! We have 2 turns left. Better news! We actually get a Throw Team-Mate off on Turn 16 after BBart pressures us like an insane person. Terrible news,... Donkey Punch III lands one square short of being able to run the ball towards the end-zone. The game ends 2-1 for the Zaraguz Uprisers. ----- I'm sure I missed a few things in my quick run-down, but overall, this game was a ton of fun, very intense and filled with angry Ogres and dead Elves. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!
  11. Ha! There's no way you'll lose to me! I suck harder than a Dyson ball multifloor 2 bagless upright vacuum.