Made for the T4A Smack Talk thread!
It's late at night. I'm having trouble sleeping. Maybe it's the cold outside or maybe it's the nerves before a new Season,... I don't know. I grip my pillow tightly when I suddenly notice its increasing warmth. A voice “whispers” in my ear...
OH YEAH! It's time for the Season 10 Overview, with your host: THE GHOST OF MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE!
I jump up at the realisation that once again a giant man has manifested himself where my pillow used to be. I try to tell him that it's 3AM and that I have to go to work tomorrow but he won't have any of it.
Listen here, oh yeah, Suido is going to do that thing where he smack-talks the entire tier in one fell swoop. But if we get there first, oh yeah, then everyone will think that he stole our idea and you'll look like a genius! Yeah!
Reluctantly, I get up and make some coffee. I might as well get this out of the way, I suppose. I get ready to give the Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage the go-ahead, but it looks like he's already sta-
The Women with Attitude have never been more prepared for a Season, yeah, and the Macho Man is 1000% CONVINCED that they will bring home the title! Yeah!
OH YEAH! Time to scope out the competition, if you can even call it that. Yeah! Let's go in order from FIRST BLOOD TO LAST! Yeah!
@wakrob is our appetiser and there is not a doubt in the Macho Man's mind, yeah, that there won't be a single Elf left standing by the time the second half comes around. Sure, it's been a while since the ladies faced off against the forest hippies, yeah, but punching Elves is like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it, oh yeah!
@Karmai's Tikal Heart Openers better hope they got a good Apothecary on their side, yeah. Because the gals are looking for some new snake leather boots, yeah, AND THERE AIN'T NO SNAKES SO LIZARDMEN WILL HAVE TO DO! Hissin' and sissin' won't save you when the Women with Attitude come for YOU! Yeah!
The Damned United, The Damned Indeed! Yeah! @MC Hammer may be a well-respected artist, yeah, but once you step on to that pitch... none of that matters, yeah. Two Warriors named “Grosspinch”? Yeah! What's that all about? They better not pinch our ladies anywhere inappropriate because NOTHING is more badass, yeah, than treating a woman with RESPECT!
Puppy-dogs and bones, yeah, what a strange combination... . The ladies are not too fond of scratchy beasts, so we'll have to get those de-clawed RIGHT AWAY! Yeah! Not to worry, @swompy (yeah!), your vet bill won't come through IF THEY DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE! Yeah!
The train of bashy teams continues with @DakaMan and once again the girls face their old nemesis... Orcs, yeah! But what's this, these guys are some sort of nerdy, skinny Orcs? Yeah! Oho, looks like the tides have finally turned against the Greenskin filth! Yeah! The Macho Man will enjoy watching these dorks, yeah, HANGING FROM A FLAGPOLE BY THEIR UNDERWEAR!
@Grufff brings the Norse, a team you don't see that often... yeah. AND THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE A GARBAGE TEAM, FOR SHODDY COACHES! Yeah! The Women with Attitude will not only defeat these topless goons, yeah, they will also knit sweaters to protect them from the cold weather BECAUSE THEY ARE EXCELLENT PEOPLE!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE KING! Yeah!
Hmm, it's one o' them “early promotions”, led by @razta! Yeah. After wave after wave of bashy teams, yeah, these Elves will make for a nice change of pace. The ladies will be sure not to hit too hard, yeah, or otherwise they might get blood on one of them fancy capes, yeah. NOBODY likes capes! Yeah! Get those things OUT OF HERE!
Another one who thinks he's King? Yeah... . No. @King Kill talks the talk but can he WALK the WALK? Yeah! “Death will follow” is not nearly as good a catchphrase as “Oh, yeah”, yeah! And death WILL follow, but it will not follow for the Women with Attitude, yeah, it will follow for THE DISCIPLES OF DEATH! Yeah!
And I suppose the Macho Man did save the best for last, yeah, because we've been looking forward to this one. THE FINAL MATCH OF ORCAMANIA, yeah, against the Greensuit from down-under himself, @Suido! Yeah! The Macho Man expects cheating and trickery from the Elves and backstabbing politics and abuse of Greensuit powers from their coach, yeah. BUT IT WILL NOT MATTER! Yeah! The gals have two Elf teams to get used to their slippery ways, yeah, and they will be prepared, rehearsed, primed and adjusted to bring down the Elf-menace ONCE AND FOR ALL! Yeah!
So bring it on, Tier 4A... . The Macho Man dares you... yeah.
As quickly as he appeared, the Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage vanishes in to a puff of smoke.
My pillow is still gone.
This night sucks... .