Season 7, Match Day 5: Float like a Butterfly, Cry like a Bitch.
Watch the game HERE!
SLIME PIT SLUGGERS vs WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE
The players unaware, the coaches unusually prepared. The Women with Attitude face off against the Slime Pit Sluggers once more as Bantha's evil Swedish Magic does its work. Nurgle decides to receive once more, eager to cause some damage before the girls get their hits in. Kickoff, again. But to our surprise, a familiar face shows himself in the stands. @Suido chucks a rock at Wal-fagor (Block, Tackle, PTail Pestigor) as he screams in an incomprehensible tongue; "Get stuffed, ya drongo!". It's good to have allies in strange places. The kick itself is pretty good, landing all the way in the Sluggers' end zone. It will take Janus (Block, Extra Arms Rotter) some time before he can get the ball to the safety of the Nurgle huddle.
Eager to fight, but unable to muster up enough Strength, a few 2 Red-Die Blocks are thrown on the line of scrimmage, both ending up in downed Ogres. Good enough, it allows the girls to disengage the Warriors on the line without having to risk a Dodge. The Sluggers keep pushing forward, only leaving 1 Warrior and 1 Pestigor behind to keep the ball carrier safe while the teams exchange Blitzes and Fouls on every turn, both squads thirsting for blood. Then, something strange happens. In their conquest for the Ogres' end zone, the Sluggers become too zealous and run right past the ladies. The Ogres respond by going around the wall of pus and strange smells, finding Janus in the back... all alone.
The Sluggers have no choice but to pull back to the right side, Blitzing Amy Shawarma away and running Janus forward, surrounding him with Warriors. Still nearby, the girls try the good old fashioned "mark the one with the bright light on 'im" strategy. Bichelle Omaha pokes a Warrior to the side and plants herself next to Janus, While Amy and Miley Steambus keep a few other Nurglings busy. Unfortunately, it's not too hard for the Sluggers to shove the big gals aside and free up the ball. With 3 of the Ogres stuck on the northern side, Janus is now rather free to run forward. Empowered by his Rotter-friend's success, Hector the Crippled (Sneaky Git, Dirty Player Rotter) goes to work, smashing his dirty paws on the downed Dame Juicy Drenched's belly.
The Ghost of Macho Man randy Savage rushes on to the pitch, carrying nothing but a feather and a giant sack of Ratman Poison. I decide against the use of the poison... . Dame Juicy is wheeled off (MNG). 4 Ogres remain on the field and Paris Killton is the only one who can put some pressure on Janus. The others are simply too far away and surrounded by Sluggers. But what most players would consider a lost fight, Paris sees it as an opportunity to prove herself. She breaks free, taking a Pestigor down on the way and marks Janus once more.
As an added Bonus, Backhand II also makes it and puts the threat of Diving Tackle on the Nurgle Ball Carrier. But Raslurbat is unfazed. A Blitz, Paris stays upright but she's moved away from Janus, who simply walks away from the Diving Tackle Gnoblar as if it wasn't even there. Then, disaster strikes once more.
Hector gets his 500th Foul off and ends Miley's short career. I call upon the Apothecary once more, our team can ill afford the loss of another Ogre. The Macho Man forces a handful of his Ratman Poison down Miley's throat and it somehow brings her back to life... but she'll never be the same as before (-MA). 3 Ogres remain.
Paris does her best to keep the pressure on, constantly breaking away from the Sluggers' bodyguards and getting to Janus. But there's no more love from Nuffle for this half. Double Bone-Head stops her in her tracks. More fouls, blocks and dodges than I would ever dare to try without any rerolls go off without a hitch for our gooey opponent. This must be a side-effect of the Swedish Magic in play, here. The half ends 1-0 for the Sluggers.
We set up for our offensive drive, beaten but not yet broken. As long as there's breath left in one of the girls' lungs, we WILL try to punch you. Our plan is to stay a bit further back and play safe. Maybe try and get Amy to pick up the pigskin, but an excellent Kick quickly ruins those plans. The ball falls so close to the line of scrimmage that the Nurgle team can pretty much just pick it up and run for the end-zone once more if they are so inclined. The ladies scramble forward, putting as much meat between the ball and the Sluggers as ogrely possible. Out of necessity, Savage Compliment (Catch Gnoblar) is forced to be the ball carrier. During all that, Bichelle doesn't lose focus and keeps the game-plan in mind: "hurt things!". It's just a Rotter, but we'll take what we can get!
The Sluggers don't yield, having removed 10 points of Strength from the pitch in the first half, they are itching to keep the fight going. A few Gors stay back to protect the team from a very unlikely TTM-play. Bone-Head stops Paris from Blitzing and Foul Appearence halts Bichelle on the spot. What was supposed to be a turn where we freed up the Ogres quickly becomes all about the Gnoblars. They scurry, taking up as much space as possible, preventing the Sluggers from reaching Savage Compliment and his precious ball. Raslurbat continues to move his players in, but in doing so he floods the left side for a big foul on Paris. A Stun, thank the Great Maw. We try to move towards the right flank, aided by another removal.
Take that, Janus! You sunuvagit! Not so dodgy now, huh? Little moral victories like this are more than welcome. We build a loose cage around Savage Compliment and move to the right side of the pitch, and then we hope for a stroke of luck to carry us forward. Wal-fagors has been waiting in the wings for a while and now it's his time to shine. He Blitzes one of the Gnoblars on the outside and fails spectacularly. + + in to + + . Another turn of relative safety for our ball carrier is achieved. Amy takes a boot to the dome as the Sluggers move back to the middle of the field. Another Stun, good enough for me. A Secondary loose cage gets built as we're unable to simply outrun the Sluggers. Paris also decides that she'll remove Hector from the field, since the referee isn't doing his job (K.O. on the Dirty Player). Again, we're relying on a bad Blitz from the Tackle-Gor. Raslurbat has other plans though, if he can't go through the Gnoblars, he'll go through the Ogres! Bichelle is swiped aside by the Beast and Dathazan Vullgu (Block Warrior) takes his shot. + + in to + + . Bad luck or incompetence, it does not matter. We finally have a little bit of room to move forward.
2 Ogres on the left side can form the protective shield we need to get Savage Compliment past the Sluggers' line. We think about trying to give the ball to Amy once more, but we're dissuaded when she doesn't take down the Rotter next to her. Same deal for Paris, she merely pushes the Gor nearby to the side instead of knocking him down. But we must go forward, pushes or no. Wal-fagors starts moving to the back-field and a failed dodge by the last remaining Rotter sees the Nurgle Team's turn end early. Excellent! Savage Compliment marches forward, accompanied by what's left of the Women with Attitude and he gets surprisingly far... .
But alas, it wasn't meant to be. Paris takes a smack to the dome and makes room for Wal-fagors' Blitz on the poor, defenceless Gnoblar. Not only that, the ball scatters right back in to the Pestigor's hands, pretty much destroying every last bit of hope for a recovery play we have left. Amy tries to Break Tackle-Blitz the filthy beast, but it's yet another failure as our streak of 1's on Break Tackle rolls continues.
Salt the wound. Wal-fagors sprints for the Ogres' side of the pitch and passes the ball to a nearby Warrior, Stehaz Lornosis (Block, Claw). Stehaz is apparently an Elf in disguise, he catches the pigskin, runs for the end-zone and several GFI's later the match ends. 2-0 for the Slime Pit Sluggers.
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Straight Up Dawg Time:
A painful loss, especially after a very good showing in our first attempt on Wednesday. I knew it was a bad idea to replay a game that went pretty well for me and I probably should have just talked to Raslurbat before arranging the rematch, to see if he'd be willing to accept a 1-1 draw and keep whatever SPP we earned. Oh well, lesson learned, I suppose.
Also, a Goddamn shoutout to @Wabbajacked, who showed up in the Stream chat about halfway through the game. He's the coach for the Averland Artillery and you should read his Team Blog because it's dope as hell. Having someone to talk to definitely mellowed me out a little, because from Turn 4 onward, I was just cursing and whining my way through this game. This VOD probably has more profanity in it that all my other ones combined.
Lastly (is that a word?), what do you guys think of the longer, fluffier, more-pictures-of-the-game reports? It takes a bit more time, but I enjoy making them.
Good game to @Raslurbat. Sorry for being salty during the game and best of luck to him (and me) for future matches.