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Are you tired of people trying really hard and winning games? Have you grown bored of professionalism, player tips and strategy? Boy, do I have news for you! I'm doing a thing on twitch.tv/c2mc.

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  1. What's new in this club
  2. Season 11, Match Day 2: Sometimes, bad things happen. Game result page HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE VS UNEQUALED GLORY HOGGERS A wonky mix of @Ugh (Oook!) failing tons of Dodges in the first half followed by the ladies failing to perform during the second half. We Kicked, hoping to force the Wizard early on but it didn't happen. We were able to score on Turn 8 thanks to White Dragon and Lennifer Jaw-Rends. As expected, the Bloodweiser Babes did their job and our opponent still had 11 players by the time the second half came around, which is never good news. Especially when the kick is pretty deep. After thinking I'd secured a proper spot, safe from Wizards and Elves, Lennifer double Bone-headed and my turn clock ended without me realising it. There was a big battle for the ball, but AG4 won it eventually and Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley was not able to Break Tackle her way to the ball-carrier on Turn 15, otherwise we may have been able to force a draw. Another loss to the Elves, the trend continues. Good game to Ugh (Oook!).
  3. Season 11, Match Day 2 - WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE VS UNEQUALED GLORY HOGGERS - WEDNESDAY 17/04 - 19h00 UTC
  4. Season 11, Match Day 1: Are inducements a team? Game result page HERE! UNKNOWN STRANGERS VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE Foreword: So after last Season, keeping up with the MD-Threads, The Bachelogrette and the team blog I feel like I've sort of exhausted my reservoir of fluffy-ness. A bit of a burn out, I suppose. I've decided to take a break from the big blog for now, probably for the remainder of Season 11. We'll do the Player Evaluation at the end and post a little paragraph to let you guys know what happened every game, but I couldn't even bring myself to make an overview of the team's we're facing before the Season kicked off so I think it's for the best. Our game against @Uniball was a weird concoction of the both of us getting lucky and unlucky at the weirdest times. The Strangers hired a Wizard, a Wandering Apothecary, Helmut, Silly Billy and a Bribe. Helmut took care of himself on Turn 1, knocking himself out and then the ref refused the Bribe at half time. Which was some great Blood Bowl, right there. We also got the Wizard out during the Lizard's offensive drive so our own was a little easier to maintain. Good defense and a little bit of luck made it so the first half ended 0-0. During our offensive drive, the ladies got pretty far but a failed landing after a powerful TTM-throw by Lennifer Jaw-Rends denied us the 0-1. The Strangers nearly got a Touchdown on the rebound and the final failed GFI robbing them of the win. An enjoyable game overall. Well played to Uniball!
  5. the link to your oppo directs me towards Suido's misfits
  6. Season 11, Match Day 1 - UNKNOWN STRANGERS VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE - WEDNESDAY 10/04 - 17h00 UTC
  7. Best of luck to Dogbert Junior! Yes, that was very spontaneous indeed. Lenny seems very disinterested in that Courtney Cox lookalike.
  8. Thanks C2MC for this excellent story arc. I thoroughly enjoyed taking part, and it's a very deserved award. I leave you with a picture of Lenny at the after party, wondering what might have been. I can't say I'm too disappointed that one of my key players has been saved from death by snu snu. Congrats Dogbert!
  9. this has been so much fun! especially when Dogbert was locked in and came smashing in at last minute. thank you for this @C2MC!
  10. Cheers guys, and thanks C2MC, was a great bit of fun and some awesome reads along the way! I am actually re rolling to chorfs this season (I have no shame!) and having a Minotaur called Dogbert because of this comp!! But rest assured @Sliceanddice I will give him the two weeks of the off season to enjoy some quality time with Lennifer...
  11. Thx for bringing up this event. I had a blast writing stories. Also congrats @Fantus. Now you should give Dogbert a little break, which would allow him to spend some time with lovely lady.
  12. :) It was a bit....different... ..well done @Fantus
  13. It's late on a Friday night, the Women with Attitude's game against @Suido's P'Elvic Thrust has just ended. It was a horrible defeat. The girls did pretty well during the first half but after the half-time break, everything just fell a part. Lennifer's especially disappointed in herself because she fumbled multiple Passes. Perhaps she could've saved the game if she'd managed to throw a few more Gnoblars across the pitch? The Handsome Coach walks in to the locker room. Most of the girls are done changing and are ready to head home. Lennifer's sitting on the bench in the middle of the room. She looks distraught... . "Come on, Lennifer, you gave it your all. Didn't you have fun?" The Handsome Coach asks the sobbing Ogre. "I's never been so nervous, coach." she replies "I's tryin' so 'ard to impress erryone 'n I gots so shakey and wobbly and me aim was off and I...". "Hey, now" The Handsome Coach interrupts "You did great. The crowd loved you throughout the whole Season. You've won 4 MVP Awards! And the sun was so bright, anyone would've missed those passes. It's not your fault.. ." The Handsome Coach gently pats the Ogress on her head but it seems his words are not enough to comfort Lennifer after such a dreadful loss. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Well, it's more of a violent bash. The Handsome Coach walks over and opens it and finds a familiar fellow on the other side. Dogbert has come to check in on Lennifer. He'd been watching the game and was hoping to talk to his Bachelogrette before she headed home. "She's all yours, bud." The Handsome Coach says as he exits the locker room and motions towards Lennifer. Dogbert slowly approaches Lennifer. He may be a Minotaur, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know a sad Ogre when he sees one. "Can I sit down?" he asks in a silent, gruffy voice. Lennifer looks up at the big beast and nods, desperately trying to hold back her tears. Dogbert makes his way over to the bench and as soon as he sits down, the whole thing collapses under the weight of the two Big Guys. "Oof." Dogbert moans as he finds himself underneath Lennifer's violent mass with several pieces of cheap wood sticking in to his backside. "Damn Elves and their flimsy benches!" he groans as he looks Lennifer right in the eyes. A moment of silence passes and both of them start to chuckle. "'s good thing you caught me..." Lennifer says as she moves her face closer to Dogbert's. "I always will..." Dogbert replies right before he throws a part of the broken bench towards to camera, killing the Gnoblar cameraman. The screen turns black. It's been a while since the last Episode, but it's finally time for the grand finale. Everyone is gathered in the glorious garden and all of the Gnoblars are wearing little tuxedo's. It's just the cutest thing you've ever seen. Lenny did not skimp on his outfit either. The Elf is dressed in his fanciest jacket and wearing a giant scarf made of Yhetee hide. Dogbert looks dashing as always, his hair slowly growing back and he even wore a tiny collar with a tie. It's the only thing that fit. Lennifer steps on to the stage sporting a brand new custom made gut-plate, depicting the events that unfolded throughout the Season. "Bachelogrette" is carved out in big, bold letters and a large rose forms the centrepiece around which there's carvings of all the places Lennifer went to throughout the show. Her sleek, black dress is so heavy and long, it takes almost the entire crew of Gnoblars to carry the tail. The Handsome Coach is right behind her, he doesn't have to dress up, he's fine just the way he is. "Gentlemen, the day is finally here" The Handsome Coach speaks "Both of you have worked hard and deserve nothing but the highest praise. But in the end, there can only be one winner... of the Bachelogrette. Lenny, you had the chance to impress Lennifer on the field. But instead, you and your team took it upon yourselves to Elf-ball the girls so hard that most of them went home with tears in their eyes. You couldn't even bring yourself to console poor Lennifer at the end of the game." "Hey, I would've!" Lenny chimes in "But my coach had me run 600 laps as punishment for my lacklustre bashing during the Season." "Excuses, excuses." The Handsome Coach retorts "It's a good thing that at least one of you two was a REAL gentleman. Isn't that right Lennifer?" he looks towards the Ogress as she steps forth and grabs the ceremonial rock in her hand. "I fumble a lot last week. But dis time it's a good 'un." Lennifer says before the turbulently whips her arm around and bazookas the rock towards the Elf. It hits him in the head so hard he even does the classic Wood Elf "spin flip" before he tumbles to the ground. Like a true lady, Lennifer lifts up her big, wide dress a little and waddles over to Dogbert, embracing the Minotaur while soft music plays in the background and rose petals are flung about all over the place. Everyone claps, except for Lenny because he's got a serious concussion and has no idea what's going on, as the couple slowly makes their way through the garden, waving at the crowd of Gnobbies as they pass. As they make their way out of the garden, towards a large, white carriage, The Handsome Coach speaks to the camera. "Congratulations, Dogbert and @Fantus! It was great to see your journey throughout this competition and we appreciate all of the effort you put in. I would also like to thank all of our other contestants for their time and all of the stories they told across these last few weeks. A final round of applause for @brocCooLi, @wismerhill, @El Maldito, @Waleed, @Borke, @Rymdkejsaren, @Mongloom, @Sliceanddice and @Suido. I will now take my well-deserved Exceptional Fluff-Award and slumber until the next Season kicks off." "Thank you all for playing!" The credits roll and the camera zooms out on Dogbert and Lennifer getting in to their carriage. Several horses huff and puff as they do their best to get their heavy load moving. A Big Guy and a Big Gal, on the way to new adventures. Together.
  14. For the first time in a while, the ladies did not end up in last place this Season! We started off with a win and things sort of petered out towards the end, but a whole Season of actually scoring a couple of Touchdowns and getting some MVP's on Ogres has really boosted our morale and our players' skills! Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley Value: 280K Level 6 153/176 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Block, Guard, Tackle, +AG. 7 MVP 62 Matches 2 Pass 1 Catch 6 Touchdowns 49 Casualties Inflicted 455 Blocks 5 Kills 1 Crowdsurfs 4 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Ellen's had a bit of a lacklustre Season behind her, but now she's back in full force. 23SPP earned is not bad for an Ogre and she got those SPP by being involved in every aspect of the game. She scored a touchdown, made a successful pass and hurt plenty of little dudes throughout the entire Season. Ellen's only got 23SPP to go to achieve the coveted Legendary Player status and if she keeps up the good work, she'll get there in no time! Bichelle Omaha Value: 230K Level 5 73/76 SPP Skills Acquired: Piling On, +MV, Break Tackle, Juggernaut. 2 MVP 55 Matches 1 Touchdown 30 Casualties Inflicted 313 Blocks 8 Kills 7 Crowdsurfs 6 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Ah, Bichelle. She just can't seem to get rid of her bad luck when it comes to injury rolls. Last Season she blocked/blitzed 60 times and got 1 Kill and 6 Casualties. This Season she blocked/blitzed 51 times and got 5 Casualties and 1 Kill, which is essentially the same result as last Season. It's too bad, because 3 more SPP would've pushed her over the edge and made her a Super Star! Still, Bichelle has been very useful thanks to her +MA and I'm sure that another great level-up will turn her in to the Blitzer Ogre she deserves to be! Dame Juicy Drenched Value: 220K Level 5 67/76 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Piling On, Juggernaut, Stand Firm. Injuries Sustained: -1 MA. 3 MVP 57 Matches 26 Casualties Inflicted 290 Blocks 3 Kills 1 Crowdsurf 8 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Dame Juicy got her "Sustained Casualties" down from 3 to 1 this Season, which is very much appreciated by our Apothecary and myself. Even with her -MA, Dame Juicy managed to keep up with Bichelle when it comes to hurting the opposition. 49 blocks/blitzes for 5 Casualties and 2 Kills. Now that Amy also has Stand Firm, these 2 form a pretty nice tag-team on the Line of Scrimmage and it also makes "Guard" an option for the next level-up if Dame Juicy were to stick to her non-doubles, non-characteristic rolls. For an Ogre that's been injured for some time, Dame Juicy is still pulling her weight. And that's a lot of weight. Amy Shawarma Value: 230K Level 5 63/76 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Block, Guard, Stand Firm. Injuries Sustained: -AV. 4 MVP 46 Matches 2 Catches 5 Touchdowns 14 Casualties Inflicted 259 Blocks 4 Kills 2 Crowdsurfs 7 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: The second member of our "Injury Club" and the only other ogre on the team that knows Block is still here and doing just fine. As mentioned above, together with Dame Juicy, Amy can Stand Firm and provide Guard to her girls on the Line of Scrimmage pretty well. She got a ton of Blocks in this Season and has earned herself 15SPP, mainly through hitting people in the face. We had a bit of a scare when she almost got a Niggling Injury against the Disciples of Death but once again, Amy survived and in Season 11 she'll be back for more! Paris Killton Value: 210K Level 4 48/51 SPP Skills Acquired: Guard, Break Tackle, +MV. 1 MVP 62 Matches 3 Touchdowns 17 Casualties Inflicted 241 Blocks 3 Crowdsurfs 3 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: At last, after playing 62 matches, Paris has earned her first MVP Award. We knew it had to happen eventually... . Thanks to the MVP and the 4 Casualties inflicted, Paris is only 3SPP away from her next level-up. I'm really hoping she gets there and learns something useful, because I have ran out of ways to describe Paris' mediocre performance. She provides Guard. Unless she Bone-Heads, of course. The extra bit of movement is pretty neat, but it does very little besides getting her in the right place to provide an Assist. Lennifer Jaw-Rends Value: 220K Level 4 46/51 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, +AG, Strong Arm. 6 MVP 30 Matches 4 Casualties Inflicted 62 Blocks 1 Crowdsurf 4 Casualty Sustained Coach's Notes: Oh, we're so close to getting ourselves a Passing Ogre, I'm so excited for you, Lennifer! Lennifer's definitely the big bread-winner of this Season with a total of 24SPP earned thanks to a lovely 4 MVP Awards! Being on the Bachelogrette has it's perks, so it would seem. Only 5SPP away from what's sure to be a double roll on the level-up will make her the greatest Ogre Thrower in the history of the OCC (not sure, but go with me on this one)! We've been training the whole Season and Lennifer's Strong Arm, combined with White Dragon has definitely gotten us some clutch Touchdowns. Keep it up, Lennifer, you're doing amazing! Gnoblarable Mentions White Dragon Value: 110K Level 4 38/51 SPP Skills Acquired: +AG, Sure Feet, +MA. 4 MVP 36 Matches 1 Catch 6 Touchdowns Coach's Notes: I think it's time we got one of the Gnoblars a fancy stat-overview. And White Dragon definitely deserves it. He hides on the side, biding his time and only comes in to be thrown around by the big gals. Live long and prosper, you beautiful, tiny Stunty! TEAM OVERVIEW A ton of Gnoblars died this Season. We lost our Kicker, our Leader and plenty of other little fellas. So we're definitely on the lookout for some more utility-Gnobbies as time goes by. We did, however, get our hands on a stupid amount of +MA and +AG spread across all of our players so we have a fairly reliable 1TTD-strategy going as long as our opponent doesn't Kick his way to victory. Overall, we had ourselves a great Season 10 and a lot of the girls are very close to another level-up. Our Line of Scrimmage got a lot better with the addition of another Stand Firm-player and Lennifer has spent the entire Season practising the art of Throw Team-Mate with White Dragon and Donkey Punch III. We're still having fun and we hope to keep the ball rolling for a while. So don't forget to cheer us on and wish our opponents the worst of luck! ---------- ---------- ---------- Full gallery with all player cards can be found HERE!
  15. Season 10, Match Day 9: Battle of the Batreps. Game result page HERE! P'ELVIC THRUST VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE After many moons, we finally get to play @Suido, the Strayan Extraordinaire. It's very unfortunate that he rerolled to Elves, the race that defeats the Women with Attitude on a regular basis, we would've much rather faced off against his Humans. Not only is the team potent, Suido is a good coach that knows what he's didgeri-doing, so we expect nothing short of a terrible defeat. Some players worth mentioning: Freddie Mercury, Tackle, Guard, Dodge Blitzer. James Brown, Wrestle, +MA, Leap, Tackle Catcher. Lenny Kravitz, Block, Mighty blow, Tackle, Dodge Catcher. Elvis Presley, +MA, Sprint Catcher. There's no shortage of Tackle and the natural Agility and Blodgers/Wrodgers means that no Ogre or Gnoblar is safe from a takedown at any point. Suido also brings in a Wizard; a Bribe and some Bloodweiser Babes. The Thrust wins the toss and decide to Kick. Right from the get-go the Weather's here to screw us over by turning Very Sunny. A very deep kick thanks to Rick Astley 2 (Kick Lineman) makes things even worse. Amy Shawarma is not demoralised and flat out kills Bill Bailey on the first block, we're going to need a lot more of these if we're to get out of this game with a half-decent result. The Thrust send 4 players forward while the rest stays back and defends their Foster's. It's a good thing that Lennifer Jaw-Rends got the ball in her mitts on the first try. The ladies try to screen the Elves away but Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley fails to bring down Freddie Mercury leaving all of the Elves in our half standing. With all of the pointy-ears swarming forward like a herd of wallabies, the ladies have no choice but to retreat and try to reduce the numbers a bit. Our plan hits a bit of a snag when Lenny Kravitz koala's out Dame Juicy Drenched while all the low AV players remains unharmed. Our backfield is now completely overrun and we resort to more... unconventional tactics. Tug of Love was knocked down on the Line of Scrimmage a few turns ago and he is in prime position to run away with the ball if we can get it over there. Things start of pretty good with okay blocks and Lennifer managing to dodge away from Jimi Hendrix 2 (Dodge, Tackle Blitzer), but her throwing arm isn't warmed up yet and the Pass is inaccurate. The Thrust has little trouble making it back to the ball, leaving plenty of players in the girls' end-zone, ready to score. To assist the Elves in scoring quickly, we roll 3 Bone-heads. Bichelle Omaha injures the kicker but there's nothing we can do to prevent a Touchdown. Turn 6 rolls around, 1-0 for the Thrust. With only 2 turns remaining, White Dragon steps on to the field, ready to even up the score. He's assisted by a Touchback after the Elves dingo the ball out of bounds. Not wanting to risk a Lightning Bolt to the dome, Lennifer immediately (after failing a Bone-Head and rerolling it) tosses White Dragon across the field for the equaliser. The Thrust has 2 more turns to play but the ladies Blitz their way in to the offence, catching the Elves off-guard. Bichelle knocks out a lineman and Tug of Love tries to make his way under the ball but slips and breaks his face, inflicting the first friendly casualty of the game on himself. The fancymen do what they do and form a screen close enough to the gals' end-zone for a touchdown on the next turn. However, apparently the Strayan curriculum does not include counting to 6 and Suido has left David Bowie (Accurate, Strong Arm Thrower) open to get his face beaten in. Paris Killton obliges and gets the Thrower down but doesn't cause any serious damage, meaning David Bowie will be able to simply get up and toss the ball around anyway next turn, assuming he makes to pick-up. Things work out pretty much how you'd expect and a Pass and a hand-off later, the half ends 2-1 for the Thrust. The casualty boxes are surprisingly empty as the second half kicks off. The crowd, riled up by Dogbert the Minotaur, invades the pitch at kick-off and even though the ladies have more fans than the Elves, we end up with 4 Stuns against 2. This immediately kills any chance we have at defending and the Elves core again on turn 10. 3-1 for the Thrust. Keen on getting something going, White Dragon once again takes to the pitch. The kick is just deep enough to avoid a 1 turn TD and Donkey Punch III is forced to hold on to the ball for a while. Hungry for more touchdowns and Vegemite, the Elves sprint towards Donkey Punch in an attempt to take him down. Luckily, a few failed GFI's prevent this tragedy. Donkey Punch hands the ball to White Dragon and Lennifer comes in for the throw but the blinding sun makes her fumble. In a panic, White Dragon runs himself out of his somewhat-a-cage, in to the danger-zone. It doesn't take long for the Thrust to sack the little guy and score once again. Turn 13, 4-1 for the Thrust. As if caught in a time-loop, the exact same set-up takes place for the 3rd time, but the kick allows for a 1TTD this time around. Donkey Punch manages the pick-up and hand-off to White Dragon but Lennifer Bone-Heads again, forcing our reroll early on. The throw is good, but a terrible scatter has White Dragon land next to 2 Elves and he's not capable of pulling off the landing. To salt the wound, Lenny Kravitz kangaroos the ball on the bounce, ready for another touchdown. 5-1 for the Thrust by turn 15. One more chance to score. Too bad that Donkey Punch flubs the pick-up and the scatter makes it so he needs 2 GFI's to make the hand-off. The Elves even Lightning Bolt Lennifer down to get our Strong Arm out of the way. Ellen gives it a shot, but another Bone-Head means we can't reroll the throw and another fumble ends the game. At least we got one last casualty as a consolation prize... . ----- I think that this would've been a much more frustrating game if it wasn't for the chit-chat between coaches. We needed the Thrust to fail some of their dodges and maybe a catch or two, but it just didn't happen. Combine that with the stupid amount of failed armour breaks and stuns over any other injuries, there was no way this was going to end well for the ladies. Suido could've bought no Inducements, and it wouldn't have made a difference. Ah, well. We had a good time and an overall nice Season. With a little luck, we could've ended up in 5th place, but DakaMan and MC Hammer had to go and draw. And that leaves us in 8th place. Which is still better than we usually do! Good game to Sweedo. Please look forward to our Season 10 Player Evaluation coming soon!
  16. Dogbert sat in the box which Nes had paid for. There was some peasants walking around with bigs trays of meat and tankards of beer. Real beer! No sewer water added to it or anything! Dogbert wasn't sure how long it would be available so he tried to stuff as much in his face as possible before it was gone! The familiar sound of the goblin whistle went and Dogbert moved to the front oft he box to watch the match. The beautiful Lennifer was there, her gut plate shining and only covering the bottom of her giant belly. A large stain on her top which looked like halfling hot. A few stray chin hairs dancing in the wind. She was stunning. Dogbert roared with excitement as the very first action saw one Lennifers ogre team mates brutally kill an elf! Dogbert loved a good elf beating! Then somehow the elves knocked poor Dame Juicy Drench out! An elf! It was a little confusing for Dogbert, thats not whats supposed to happen. The elves surrounded the ogres, but Lennifer strode forward, ball in hand and threw it down the pitch to the waiting snotling.... But obviously the snotling was stupid and was stood in the wrong place. Completely the snotlings fault, definitely not his beloved's! Of course, the elfs did the girly dancing and threw the ball back to their players and scored. Dogbert joined the crowd - BOOOOOO!!!!!! The match got underway and Lennifer had spotted the minotaur waving at her. Clearly wanting to impress hims, she picked up the snotling holding the ball and threw him as far as she could. It was glorious!! The snotling had no idea what was happening, but somehow managed to land and run in to even the score! Dogbert was charging around the box hooting and cheering! The staff were getting more and more anxious! The match got back underway, and the elves started dancing around again. The ogres tried to hit them, but they were like dust in the wind. And just before half time they scored to take the lead. Dogbert saw Lenny laughing as he went in. This made Dogbert very angry. Lenny shouldn't laugh. The second half started and Lenny came out still laughing with his team mates. Dogbert saw red and charged on to the pitch, knocking Lenny over. The crowd saw this and joined in and there was a full on pitch invasion leaving players on both sides on the ground! Dogbert knew he was not allowed to permanently hurt Lenny, it was against the TV show rules, but he was glad he had been able to give him a quick smack! Unfortunately, the pitch invasion did little to help the ogres and it was not long until the elves scored again. The ogres were looking down and out. And it was no surprise the elves quickly scored again and was 4:1 up with time running out. Lenny continued to laugh with his team mates, and clearly Lennifer had seen this. As the match got back underway, the snotling that had the ball was picked up by Lennifer and thrown at Lenny's head. Unfortunately the snotling missed and crashed face first in to the dirt and ball landed in Lenny's outstretched hand. Lenny considered being a gentleman, but his inner elf took over, and with his friends ran up the pitch and scored. The final nail in the coffin. 5:1. Dogbert had to admit, the elfs did dance very good, and Lenny was a hell of a player!! Lennifer spotted Dogbert and saw that despite watching the match he was waving and smiling at her like they had won. "You were amazing" shouted the minotaur. "That was the best snotling throwing I have ever seen" beamed Dogbert. Lennifer only had time to smile in return as she was ushered in to the dressing room by her coach. Dogbert was happy with that. A smile from Lennifer was better than any stupid bloodbowl match! @Suido and @brocCooLi it has been a pleasure writing with you guys, may the best Minotaur win!
  17. *Commercial plays on a loop* The Bachelogrette finale, this weekend on CABALVISION! Sponsored by ORCA COLA! It's LAVA you can DRINK! *Horrible static followed by the same commercial*
  18. Nes is pacing restless in front of Lennifers house and the studio. From time to time he bites on his nails. When will Lennifer decide? Will it be Lenny or Dogbort? Being removed at last minute made it even worse to wait on the decision.
  19. I think I just had an epileptic seizure. Someone call an Apothecary!
  20. Hey, Nes, you can still come to the match, tickets and pupcorn are on me. I have a better record against minotaurs than elves, anyway.
  21. Dogbert watched Nes turn to start to walk away. The giant minotaur charges towards him again. A flicker of fear crosses the elf's perfect complexion, then he feels himself being lifted up in a giant hug while Dogbert starts laughing. "Nes and Dogbert will be friends forever!" Dogbert was practically swinging the high elf around, immune to the winces as the elf's battered body is still aching from being slammed.
  22. Season 10, Match Day 8: ...When Hell freezes over. Game result page HERE! DISCIPLES OF DEATH VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE You'd think that someone named @King Kill would be the worst coach you could possibly face, especially when he's playing Chaos. But it turns out that this man is just a big, cuddly fluffball underneath all that armour. The Women with Attitude were a little scared going in to this one for a few reasons... . The Disciples of Death bring a few giant-slayers to the table: Brute d'Bad, a Claw, Piling On, Jump Up Minotaur. Mean d'Machine, a Block, mighty Blow, Claw and Piling On Chaos Warrior. And they don't lack any ball-handling abilities either: King Kross, Dodge, +AG, Block, Two Heads, Stand Firm Chaos Warrior. Morker, +AG Chaos Warrior. Bullseye, +AG, Beastman. To top it off, the Inducements provided are a Wandering Apothecary, a Bribe and some Bloodweiser Babes. It looks like King Kill isn't too confident in his Warriors' ability to stay in one piece. The game starts off a little wonky as the girls choose to receive, since there's no Wizard, but the referee thinks we're better off kicking for some reason. Guess we'll deal with that, sure. The Disciples get to go first and here's where the lack of Guard comes in. Craznogors (Tackle, Mighty Blow, Jump Up Beastman) takes a stab at one of the Gnoblars and doesn't manage to take him down, so we Side Step one square to the left, preventing any assists on the Line of Scrimmage. To salt the wound a little more, Brute d'Bad fails his Wild Animal check and a reroll. Nuffle makes up for it a little with some good red dice, causing Dame Juicy Drenched and Paris Killton to take a dive but at the end of the turn, nobody got injured. The gals get a few hits in too, but most of our turn is spent trying to stand in the way of several Beastmen, making their way down town, walking fast, faces pass on the right flank. King Kill switches it up immediately and moves back towards the middle, attempting to juke around the Ogres but the Bone-Heads aren't showing so we're able to keep up. Thinking he's safe and sound, King Kross GFIs his way down the left flank, forgetting that Bichelle Omaha has all the tools to take him out. Bichelle Break Tackles right up against the Chaos Warrior and Juggernauts him off the pitch, causing the ball to be thrown in right in the middle of our side of the field. Most of our Ogres are tied up but we do manage to get 3 Gnoblars around the pigskin before the end of our turn. It's not enough, unfortunately, a Blitz and a hand-off later the Disciples get the ball to Craznogors and he runs it in for the first touchdown. Turn 4 ends, 1-0 for the Disciples. With 5 turns remaining, we field White Dragon and get ready to toss that sucker in for the equaliser by the end of the half. Amy Shawarma and Dame Juicy injure 2 Beastmen on the Line of Scrimmage, immediately cutting a big chunk out of the opposing team and forcing one of the Apothecaries to come out and save one goatman. Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley makes it a clean sweep, pounding the last victim in to the ground right before White Dragon secures the ball. Brute d'Bad Blitzes in to Bichelle and Piles On, not even breaking armour, forcing multiple Beastmen to surround to fallen Mino to prevent a foul. The gals shuffle to the left, hoping to get ahead thanks to the commitment on Bichelle. It turns out we underestimate Brute's commitment to Blitzing every turn, though, as he gets right up and rams in to Paris, Piling On to turn a K.O. in to a Stun. Terrified of King Kross' ability to dive in to any cage, we huddle up all the way on the left flank, moving forward ever so slowly. King Kill doesn't go for it and instead moves back on to his side of the field, forming a tiny screen of Chaos, with King Kross holding up the back field. By the time turn 8 rolls around, the Disciples are in full retreat, covering the left side of the pitch but leaving the right wide open and after a couple of failed attempts at putting the hurt on a few of the Disciples, Lennifer Jaw-Rends puts her Strong Arm to use and gets White Dragon far enough down field to score right before half-time. 1-1 at half time! The second half starts off pretty good seeing as we're now outnumbering the Disciples and it's once again our turn to receive. A Touchback also gets the ball right in to Lennifer's hands, removing any risk of a failed pick-up. We don't break as many bones as we did the last time, however and even our Blitz gets lost to a Bone-Head, but we got the ball and we're ready for our offence! King Kill doesn't waste any time and by the end of his turn, almost all of his players are based against ours. The girls fight hard and manage to pull back a little, keeping Lennifer safe. There's no getting away from King Kross, unfortunately, and the Warrior Blitzes in to Lennifer for the uphill block, but gets unlucky and goes down (+ in to +). History repeats itself as the ladies find another safe spot for the ball, followed by the uphill Blitz. This time, King Kross manages the takedown and stuns Lennifer in the process. A couple of GFIs later, he's got the ball in his dodgy hands. Have no fear, Ellen's here! Our Star Player Tackles the opposing Super Star to the ground and Hot Karl III catches the pigskin on the bounce, allowing us to build a sideline cage once more. King Kross doesn't go for a third attempt, instead, Brute d'Bad wastes the Blitz and a reroll while the rest of the team piles in once more. However, with multiple players committed to the mid-field, our sideline-cage has the chance to move up quite a bit as a few Gnobbies and Ogres stay back and hold up several players. Dame Juicy even manages to kill Urak (rookie Chaos Warrior) right after Ellen K.O.'s Craznogors, removing 2 more players from the field. The Disciples catch up quickly, downing Lennifer while they're at it so we feel forced to try and run for it. Since we've got several Ogres pretty far forward, the only real threat is King Kross. King Kill is still keen on getting Brute some SPP and he finally manages to cause a casualty on an Ogre. Amy goes down hard, but the Apothecary manages to save her from a Niggling Injury. Then comes the inevitable Blitz by the Two Heads-Warrior, who makes it without even breaking a sweat. Hot Karl III bites the dust 5 squares away from the opponent's end zone. We're not without any back-up, thankfully and White Dragon swoops in to grab the ball after Dame Juicy Juggernauts King Kross away from the oval. It all comes down to this. We manage to get Ellen next to the dodgy-man while we surround him with every player we have left, hindering his final Blitz for the ball-carrier as much as we can. Nuffle smiles upon us as the first dodge fails and Ellen prevents the reroll, causing an instant Turnover. White Dragon runs it in for the 1-2, securing our victory! ----- Not having any Guard on the team and the focus on the Minotaur is definitely what gave the ladies an edge in this one. Especially since Brute wasn't very good at actually causing Casualties. Still, King Kill was a lovely fellow and he was a lot of fun to play against and to talk to. So in honour of him, here's a compilation of every time Brute d'Bad used Piling On during our game!
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