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Orca Cola Championship

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Are you tired of people trying really hard and winning games? Have you grown bored of professionalism, player tips and strategy? Boy, do I have news for you! I'm doing a thing on twitch.tv/c2mc.

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  1. What's new in this club
  2. Season 8, Match Day 1: Hashut! Bless you. Watch the game HERE! BLACK HAMMERS OF HASHUT VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE The Women with Attitude strut on to the pitch once more. Another Season, another opportunity to finally win a game. It won't be easy against @bloodcurse's Black Hammers of Hashut, though. A well rounded Chaos Dwarf team, full of Guard, Mighty Blow and a Bull Centaur with a Hidden AG5 Stat. Bichelle Omaha still has her MNG from last Season, so we'll be down an Ogre for our very first game. Oh well, Bloodcurse forgets to spend his extra cash, so the ladies end up with an extra Gnoblar and Bomber Dribblesnot on their side. We don't expect much from the Bomber, if he tanks a Blitz instead of one of our own Gnoblars, we'll consider it 60k well spent. We win the toss and decide to go first, maybe we'll manage to take out a Blocker on the Line of Scrimmage, which would be a huge deal going forward. Just to show that I haven't learned ANYHTING after getting first-turn Blitzed over a dozen times, I set up too far forward and the Hammers get a Blitz! Lovely. Ogloth, Lord of the Pitch is taken out as quickly as he moved on to the pitch and the Hammers shove their Bull Centaurs and a few Blockers in the girls' faces. Pffft! This is nothing that can't be solved with VIOLENCE! We poke a few Blockers and free up Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley to take down one of the Bulls in our end-zone. She breaks Rhagrakh Smokeybull's armour but only manages a Stun. It's okay, Kandarian Bootfook comes in to finish the job. BAM! One Badly Hurt Bull on turn 1. Good stuff! Emboldened by our excellent foul, Kindness even manages to pick up the ball on the first try, which is usually a rare occurrence. The Hammers retaliate, injuring a Gnoblar and putting the boot on to Lennifer Jaw-Rends. Luckily, Lennifer's Thick Skull allows her to remain on the field. A double red-die + causes another Stun, this time on Paris Killton so there's no real way for us to fight forward with only 3 Ogres standing. The half quickly devolves in to a Blitz-for-Blitz, foul-for-foul environment until Farral Thicktoe swoops in and Blitzes our ball-carrier down. Not only that, he also manages to pick it up and aggressively GFI a few times to make it more difficult for the ladies to recover the damn thing. The brawling continues as we lose Gnoblars at an alarming rate, but we do manage to take out a Blocker, Darkkah Goldhand as well. Ellen has been tasked with keeping tabs on that Bull in our back-field and she does a fair job at preventing him from annoying us further. After a while, she comes out on top and recovers the pig-skin for herself. With only a few turns remaining, we attempt a rather desperate play. Ellen hands the ball off to Kindness, who runs forward towards the Line of Scrimmage. Paris dodges away from a Blocker in an attempt to hopefully throw Kindness far enough to score on the next turn. But this is where we encounter a new enemy, the Goddamn clock. Before I figure out my positioning and get the Throw Team-mate going, time runs out and our ball-carrier is exposed. Bloodcurse doesn't mess around and takes down the Gnoblar, recovers the ball and scores. Once more, the Backfield-Bull that never fails to pick up the ball was there to be the thorn in our side. The half ends, 1-0 for the Hammers. After a quick round of refreshing Bloodweiser 5000% alcohol shots, the game starts up again and it's the Hammers' turn to receive. The girls catch a break when one of the Hobgoblins fails the pick-up but we're quickly stymied by a sudden incursion of Bone-head on multiple players. We try and position Amy Shawarma forward to threaten the back-field, but she's all alone and hardly threatens the Hobgoblins and Blockers in the back. We shake and shimmy around for a little while but Bloodcurse gets tired of our shenanigans and runs a Hobbo forward. Then, as if Nuffle himself intervened, a Blockers fail his GFI twice in a row and the Ball Carrier is wide-open. The ladies position themselves and sweep towards the left flank, where Dokz Irondrinker stands all alone. Ellen's time to shine once more, she runs past a Bull and fails her Break Tackle, a sign of things to come. The reroll is fine, but then the GFI we need to get to the ball-carrier also fails and Ellen finds herself face-down on the pitch, Stunned. With our momentum shattered to pieces, the Chaos Dwarfs easily score a second time. Turn 14, 2-0 for the Hammers. The Ogres have 3 turns to make something happen, and this time we don't intend to let the clock run out. Especially not after we're gifted with a "High Kick". We spend all of our Blocks and Blitzes to keep the Ogres in the middle of the Line of Scrimmage secure and untouched while White Dragon eagerly awaits being tossed in to the air. Turn 16 comes around and Ellen makes the throw. White Dragon soars through the sky, pretending to breathe fire on to his enemies, and several seconds later he lands perfectly on his little feet... excellent! The little hero runs the ball in to the enemy end zone, ending the game 2-1. And in the locker-room, White Dragon decides to embrace destiny... . Is it a sign? A message from Nuffle? Will the fabled AG4 Gnoblar survive his first game? Will I finally get around to doing the dishes? Nobody knows... . ----- A fun game, all in all. Our first half was almost completely lacking in Bone-Head and the second half felt like I had 2 girls out every turn. As usual, Ellen was the centrepiece of every play we made but Kandarian Bootfook and Amy Shawarma deserve a mention for taking out 2 important players very early on. I'm pretty sad about my turn 7, where I ran out of time before completing the throw team-mate play but hey, these things happen. Let's just try and keep it to a minimum.
  3. WEDNESDAY 15/08/2018 - 17h00 UTC. BLACK HAMMERS OF HASHUT VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE TWITCH YOUTUBE
  4. GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! Once again, the Women with Attitude dodged relegation, probably thanks to the coaches who decided to take a break during August. Our beloved Tier 4 is where we stay for another 9 weeks of gory glory, tossin' Gnoblars and maybe even winning a game! That's right, we aren't exactly on a losing streak (not a very big one, anyways) but we haven't won a game ever since we were mysteriously promoted to tier 4. Will the girls finally break the cycle or will incompetence reign supreme for yet another Season? Find out on the next episode of Ogreball Z! ----- @Endalos - Sons of Jotunn - Orc - 8/7/3 Endalos has a pretty solid Orc team going, with a few funky twists. 2 Goblins, I love that bit. A Black Orc with AV10... alright, sure. The best news for us is that 2 of the Black Orcs don't have Block and there's only 2 Blizers that have really developed. On the other hand, Ogres are absolutely terrible against Orcs unless I get a lot of breaks on the omnipresent AV9. I guess we did do pretty well against Sidley earlier in Season 7, ... maybe it won't be terrible. @Cereal Killar - My Ball Zach Urts - Chaos Dwarf - 8/6/4 After being able to dodge the Chaos Dwarf incursion for several Seasons, we are finally brought back to reality. Cereal Killar doesn't just come with great puns, he also bring the pain. Mighty Blow and Guard all over, +Strength pieces out the wazoo and a Minotaur with Block. This looks like an insta-loss, pretty much. Sure, we'll give it our best shot, but it's going to take some Grade-A incompetence from our opponent for us to win this one. @bloodcurse - Black hammers of Hashut - Chaos Dwarf - 8/5/10 The Black Hammers took a slightly more subtle approach than the previous C-Dorfs, they did go for Guard before Mighty Blow on literally everything. However, the end result is still the same. I'd say this one is slightly less deadly than his predecessor, but that doesn't make him harmless, far from it. Lots of bulky little men, running around, standing in the way... I'm not a fan. @hammersholt- USA USA USA USA USA USA USA!! - Halfling - 5/6/7 Speaking of little, annoying dudes... . Literally and figuratively a joke-team, replacing players at the same rate as the actual White House, I'm betting. Hammersholt managed to get his hands on 2 +Agility Halflings and a Jump-Up Treeman. Honestly, that's probably all he needs to win. The girls don't have a great history against Halflings. They killed our precious Queef Latina and we will never forgive their kind for that atrocity. ALL HALFLINGS MUST PAY THE BLOOD PRICE! @gaiasekker - Ataraxia's Black Crows - High Elf - 7/11/9 I don't think we've played this variant of the most delicious race in the Olde World yet. But in the end, it all plays out the same. If the ladies hit hard, we might manage a victory. If the Elves are too dodgy and their armour holds, we probably lose. Wait, what? Double Dauntless on the Blitzers? I CALL SHENANIGANS! It's almost like he was anticipating playing Ogres at some point... . @C2MC - Women with Attitude - Ogre - 6/7/23 The fluffiest and most adorable Ogre team in the League. We might not win games, but we'll win over your love and affection for sure! @Wrekd - Chaqua Suns - Lizardman - 7/0/2 A promotion straight out of Tier 6. Normally I'd take this opportunity to talk some smack about how new this team is, but these guys come with a Bloxigor called "Hulk", so I'm not messing around. The Skinks are rather underdeveloped, which plays in our favor. It looks like Wrekd has gotten a few Saurii wrekt during their first Season too... we might actually win this match-up. @BallztotheWalla - The DELFonics - Dark Elf - 6/2/1 I used to respect BallzToTheWalla, but then he switched to Dark Elves. Obviously, he's gone completely insane... either that or he's going for the late-game, High TV "Wizard Stadium" just to prove a point. An Agility 5 Witch and lots of guys with Dodge is probably all he needs to humiliate us. I mean, we lost to a team with 7 Loners last Season so I'm pretty low on confidence when it comes to playing against Dark Elves. I guess I'll punch them and see what happens. @Jakerbeef- It Smells Like Team Spirit - Nurgle - 5/1/3 Good news, this team is fresh. Bad news, it's Nurgle. Ogres are notoriously bad against Nurgle teams but there's hope on this one. Jakerbeef went Mighty Blow first on his Warriors, probably to speed up team development, but that means he lacks the best skill in the game: BLOCK. All I need is for him to roll a fazillion Both-Downs and this game will be easy as pie. Play them early and get lucky, that's the master-plan. @Bicius73- Ministero delle Finanze - Vampire - 4/3/2 The third and last team to get promoted straight out of T6. It seems like Vampires are all the rage these last few Seasons, as we've run in to 4 different teams so far. Usually we're able to put up a good fight and I think we have a fair shot against an underdeveloped team. However, Hypnotic Gaze is absolutely horrible to play against when you essentially only have 6 players on the field so anything can happen. Still, I enjoy this match-up, looking forward to it! --- --- --- Overall, a very deadly tier compared to the last one we were in. But maybe that's exactly what the girls need to awaken their own Killer Instinct once more. Will we forever roam the bottom of the League, eating whatever scraps the Red Suits throw our way? Who knows! As usual, reports after every game are to come and I hope you'll enjoy reading them. Wish us luck, Ogre-fans.
  5. Either your day has been an absolute tragedy up until this point or your words are very kind indeed!
  6. It is disappointing that I have only one upvote to give to such a fine piece! Thanks for making my day. Sincerely, Sidley
  7. After a fairly terrible Season 6, it was hard to see it go even worse for the Women with Attitude. We still haven't won a game (that's 18 draws/losses in a row for those of you counting) but I do feel like our "game" has gotten a bit better. We've gotten a few touchdowns under our gutplate, a lot more casualties inflicted than last Season and we've come close to that precious win a lot more often than we did during Season 6. But what about the players' individual performances? Well, let's see: Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley Value: 280K Level 6 100/176 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Block, Guard, Tackle, +AG. 4 MVPs 35 Matches 1 Pass 3 Touchdowns 35 Casualties Inflicted 293 Blocks Succeeded 4 Kills 3 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Oh, Nuffle, God of Dice. You have blessed me with a Super Star. Ever wonder how Ellen gets so buff? It's because she's been carrying this whole team on her back since Season 6. Season 7 has been GLORIOUS for Ellen. 28 SPP earned (13 in 1 game versus 100% Applejuice), 3 kills, 11 casualties inflicted and 2 touchdowns scored. She even missed a game after sneaky @Sidley's Troll tweaked one of her nipples. I don't know how much praise is too much, but damnit Ellen, you are a beautiful beast. Go forth and bring us glory! My dear, sweet Ellen, you ARE the team. Dame Juicy Drenched Value: 200K Level 4 47/51 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Piling On, Juggernaut. Injuries Sustained: -1 MA. 3 MVPs 31 Matches 16 Casualties Inflicted 155 Blocks Succeeded 4 Kills 3 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: For a while, Bichelle was a contender for the title of "deadliest Ogre Blitzer" but Dame Juicy's overtaken her completely. 2 MVPs and a few casualties have helped her reach new heights/girths and Juggernaut has proven very valuable when trying to take the riskier Blitzes against Blocky-dudes. Dame Juicy hasn't been demoralised by her broken leg in the slightest, in fact, I think it's made her even stronger. She still trucks across the field, ploughing in to any idiot that's stupid enough to stand in her path. And if that specific idiot doesn't have a broken spine on the first go, there's always Piling On to make sure he won't be back for seconds. Rock on, Dame Juicy! Bichelle Omaha Value: 210K Level 4 32/51 SPP Skills Acquired: Piling On, +1 MA, Break Tackle. 1 MVP 29 Matches 1 Touchdown 12 Casualties Inflicted 163 Blocks Succeeded 3 Kills 3 Crowdsurfs 5 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Bichelle hasn't had the best performance this Season. She's only managed 3 additional casualties and 1 kill and she's out for the first game of Season 8 due to a serious injury. However, her extra movement has been a great boon to the team, granting the ladies more of a fighting chance when it comes to the positioning-game. There's been many times when Bichelle was the only Ogre fast enough to put a Tackle Zone on the ball or mark an opposing player. Also, the acquisition of Break Tackle has allowed her to be much more valuable in general. Find your inner beast again, Bichelle, and I'm sure you'll do great next Season! Paris Killton Value: 180K Level 3 29/31 SPP Skills Acquired: Guard, Break Tackle. 0 MVP 35 Matches 3 Touchdowns 10 Casualties Inflicted 159 Blocks Succeeded 2 Crowdsurfs 2 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Still lingering in the shadows, Paris has only managed to scrape together a measly 6 SPP throughout the whole of Season 7 (3 Casualties, 2 of them in the last game of the Season!). I was hopeful after her progression had improved a bit from Season 5 to 6, but once more she's been left in the dust compared to her sisters. Besides Ellen, Paris is the only remaining member of the Original 4, yet... it doesn't show. 35 matches played means that she's hardly earned 0.8 SPP per game. The only thing setting her apart from the others were her 3 Touchdowns, that's no longer the case. Once again, I hope you pick up the pace and turn it up to 11, Paris. With our waning treasury and the rotation of Ogres during Season 7, we cannot afford to have one of the veterans slacking off. Amy Shawarma Value: 190K Level 3 28/31 SPP Skills Acquired: Break Tackle, Block. Injuries Sustained: -AV. 2 MVPs 19 Matches 4 Touchdowns 3 Casualties Inflicted 92 Blocks Succeeded 2 Kills 5 Casualties Sustained Coach's Notes: Ah, Amy, I just can't figure out what to do with you. Such a great player, abundant potential, excellent ball-handling skills and Block! But ever since she got injured and lost a point of armour, things haven't been the same. Her game is still great, but she's an easy target for any hard-hitting/fouling opponent and she's been on the verge of death multiple times. I am still torn, ... is she a liability, does Block make up for the reduction in armour value? It'd be with great pain in my soul, but I feel that once we arrive at a point where we can afford a new Ogre, Amy will be the first to get axed off. Unless the casualties get to her first, of course. The Apothecary's been able to keep her around (strange, I know) but that won't last forever. Lennifer Jaw-Rends Value: 140K Level 1 5/6 SPP Skills Acquired: None. 1 MVP 3 Matches 8 Blocks Succeeded Coach's Notes: More fresh meat for the grinder! Lennifer is the latest recruit to join the Women with Attitude and I honestly hope she'll last A LOT longer than her predecessor, Miley Steambus. Unfortunately, still being green behind the ears means that this "coach's notes" section won't be filled with fun stats and comments as Lennifer has yet to prove herself on the pitch. She did win an MVP, which might mean a quick skill-up at the start of next Season. I look forward to the future of the team and Lennifer. May she crunch many skulls! The Hall of Death and Incompetence: Peaches Value: 200K Level 4 48/51 SPP Skills Acquired: Guard, Break Tackle, Stand Firm. 5 MVPs 28 Matches Coach's Notes: Last Season I mentioned my worries for Peaches' tendency to take brutal amounts of punishment every match. And it finally caught up to her. During the first game, against @Scaron84's K Nation, Peaches was mercilessly fouled in to oblivion by a Skellyman. She will always be remembered as part of the Original 4, the first Ogre to learn "Stand Firm" and the girl with the loveliest voice. Standing in the way was how she played, lived and died. May you block the path to your end-zone on that great pitch in the sky, Peaches. I shall always remember you fondly. Miley Steambus Value: 140K Level 1 2/6 SPP Skills Acquired: None. Injuries Sustained: -MV. 0 MVP 4 Matches Coach's Notes: Some of you might not even remember her name, Miley was Peaches' original replacement after the first game of the Season. She hung around for 4 weeks before suffering a major injury herself. We were lucky enough to have enough cash to replace yet another Ogre on such short notice... . Of course, getting fired after playing only 4 games means that there was no opportunity for this one to blossom in to a better player. There's little to see here except for the crippling damage to our team's treasury. ---------- ---------- ---------- Full gallery with all player cards can be found HERE! Playlist with all Season 7 games can be found HERE!
  8. Season 7, Match Day 9: Yak Attack. Watch the game HERE! SABRE MOUNTAIN MUTANIERS VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE Another Underworld team? Oh, without Claw... sure, let's go. @Bob & My Yak is not your average player. He doesn't NEED Clawpomb to brutally destroy you. He doesn't even go for your team... he goes for your MIND! Obviously, this hasn't exactly been successful most of the time, but against Ogres... you never know. The Women with Attitude walk on to the pitch with an air of confidence. They did pretty well against the last Underworld team they faced and the Sabre Mountain Mutaniers lack some of that mutation-fuelled firepower and they're surprisingly underdeveloped on a lot of key players. The Agility 4-pieces look annoying, but they might go down quickly... if we're lucky. We don't get to play on our home turf this time around, but the ref still awards us with the ball on the first kick. Everything looking excelle- It was all a trick! Before the ball even lands, the filthy ratmen have made their way in to the girls' back lines, and not in a sexy way. The deep kick doesn't help at all and Lennifer Jaw-Rends picks this horrific moment to Bone-Head. The only achievement on this turn is a sneaky boot by Kandarian Bootfook in to Pyroclastic Flows (Guard, 2 Heads Blitzer), Badly Hurt. Hardly enough to stop Skitter Stab Stab from grabbing the pigskin and making it 1-0... on the defending team's turn 1. The ladies sort-of-kind-of learn their lessen and we set up a little further back. No cheating this time, the ball lands and the Mutaniers are still on their side of the pitch. A few of the Goblins go down and Dame Juicy Drenched gets a good shot on Granite (Block, Guard Linerat) but only manages a Stun. As usual, the girls fail to pick up the ball and the Mutaniers dart several players forward to take advantage of our general incompetence when it comes to acquiring spherical objects. However, this time Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley is free and close by. Just like last game, she shows her superiority to the Star Player by shoving him so far in to the ground that only the cast from "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" will ever see him again. Skitter's removed from the field, 1/3 Agility 4-players down. Kandarian Bootfook goes in for the second foul on the downed Granite and insta-gibs the little bugger. An Apothecary shows up and spoils the fun, but the ref shows his appreciation for our attempt by not sending us off yet. Kitchen Sink III manages to secure the ball but there's literally no safe place on the field when there's Throw Team-Mate and Corner of the Cage (Two heads, Big Hand, AG4 Goblin) available. POW, Kitchen Sink III goes down and the ball is loose once again. Luckily for us, one of the other Goblins trips and injures himself so the gals get another shot at securing the pigskin. Amy Shawarma takes her chance and fails but Kindness is there for the rebound and snatches the bouncing ball right up. The Himalayas (Block, AG4 Thrower) comes in for the Blitz; but Kindness stays upright... finally a chance for the Ogres to make a run for it. It takes a Blitz and several Blocks to get The Himalayas out of our way so there's not much room to hit other things. Kindness moves up, surrounded by his large-and-in-charge teammates. It's looking better by the minute, especially since the Mutaniers are starting to run low on players. Ball secure, another Agility 4-player taken out by Ellen. The Mutaniers are forced in to using their Wizard. Kindness lives, surprisingly, but the absence of any other Gnoblars means that one of the girls will have to woman-up and get that touchdown going. Amy has a chance to redeem herself, easy peasy-gobbo squeezy. 1-1 at half-time. The second half starts off as violently as the first one ended, Amy takes a beating from Molten Core (Guard, Tentacles, Prehensile Tail Troll) and risks losing another stat-point (-MV) but the Apothecary is ready and willing. Once again her lowered armour value comes back to bite us in the jiggly butt-cheeks and I feel like her retirement is nearing quickly. Bob goes for a very Sataric-esque play as he passes the ball to Magnetite (Wrestle Linerat) and then 1D Blizes Lennifer. Skull in to POW makes it work and the ratman is somewhat safe. Ellen to the rescue, as always. The ball-carrier goes down, the throw-in is a slap in the face to every Ogre who ever bloodied the bowl. The Himalayas walks up, punts the ball even further down-field, setting himself up for the touchdown a few turns down the road. Try as they may, the girls cannot prevent the sneaky Mutaniers from scoring. Even with Bichelle Omaha and Kandarian Bootfook guarding the ball, it seems too easy for the AG4 Rat to simply waltz in and GFI his way to victory. 2-1 for the Underworld Team. 6 Turns remain and we are not very confident that a Throw Team-Mate play is the way to go. Plan B, Ellen gets the ball and goes for the draw. Maybe, if we can score quick enough, we can shake a win out of our sleeve, but we're not counting on it. Several Bone-Heads and our inability to injure the remaining players doesn't make the comeback very easy. Even Bichelle isn't safe from the final vengeful swings of the Mutaniers as she's forced to sit out this game and the next (MNG). After a few turns of struggling to make any space, Ellen moves forward against the sideline, guarded by a few of her teammates. Nuffle doesn't appreciate sideline-cages and swiftly punishes our ignorance. Shrodingers Goblin moves in and makes Ellen look like a chump as he pushes her in to the crowd. I feel like we got lucky she wasn't hurt, but my soul will never recover. Another throw-in, another catastrophe. The Himalayas figures pulling off his move from the previous drive looks like a good idea and the ball is safely shot away from any Women with Attitude players. The girls attempt a recovery, but Bone-Head quickly stops any hope we had in its tracks. 2-1 for the Mutaniers. ----- Even with all the insane garbage that happened, this game was surprisingly fun. Bob being a cheery fellow probably contributed to that. It looks like we end another Season with zero wins, but I do feel like we came really close quite a few times. Am I still making stupid plays? Of course! But as time goes by we get a little better every time and maybe... JUST MAYBE... we will win one game during the next Season. Thank you for reading and for sticking with me and the girls for another Season and look forward to our Season-ly Player Evaluation coming soon!
  9. I was confident on the comeback!!! At least it was not so far this time!! Season 8 looks to be a great one!
  10. Hey there, latecomer. Sorry for the lack of stories these past few weeks, but here's the last one to make up for it. Are you ready? Nice and tucked in? Alright,... The girls packed up their things and started drinking the night away, season 7 was over, there were no more games to play. Everyone was invited, Ogres, Humans, Rats and more, to party with the ladies and have food and booze galore. Tiny, baby Ogre isn't old enough to drink, so he got a little juice box, with a straw, in fancy pink. He walks around the room, looking for his pals, to reminisce about last season and their games against the gals. The Glamorous Fashionistas were running 'round and chasing men, Tiny, baby Ogre fondly remembered them. Onyx did show up but they all looked rather sad, Turns out that they decided to skip a Season and move the team instead. Always green and jolly, the Bends were present too, even sneaky Sidley dropped by for a beer or two. The Slime Pit Sluggers were still affected by the Swedish Magic, but that didn't stop most of them from boasting about their win... ic. Vampires joined the party too, and brought their Thralls for drink, They had to suck blood outside, though, 'cause the corpses were starting to stink. Weljamir and his Dark Elves graced everyone with their tales, of how the team with just 5 players made it to and honorable 6th place. The Applejuice mostly kept busy fighting with a yak, brought in by the Mutaniers, it carried all their packs. Happily, the tiny Ogre walks up to the ladies' coach, "Look at all these friends we made!" he laughed as he made his approach. "Yes, you're right" the coach replied with a little grin, "and in a few weeks we get to do it all over again!" Tiny, baby Ogre couldn't wait, just like his lady-friends, to get back to the Blood Bowl pitch, where the fun time never ends. SATURDAY 28/07/2018 - 15h00 UTC. SABRE MOUNTAIN MUTANIERS VS WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE TWITCH YOUTUBE
  11. Highly debatable, mate! Thanks again for the match though. It was one I will surely remember, for it was extremely silly in every imaginable way. Things that usually works didn't play out at all, things that definitely shouldn't have worked unexpectedly did, and things that never ever should even be attempted were suddenly abundant! A clown fiesta from start to finish.
  12. Season 7, Match Day 8: If you want something done right... Watch the game HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs 100% APPLE JUICE Another day, another rematch. @Sataric decided to crawl out of his hole in the ground and meet us in the Fancy Rental, but most of his players stayed behind to watch the Blood Bowl World Cup. This meant that the Apple Juice got 750k worth of Inducements to fill out their roster. Last time we had to deal with a Star Player, it didn't go so well for the ladies and now we have 2 of them running around; Skitter Stab Stab and Fezglitch. A Wizard, 2 Bribes and a Loner Blitzer round out the Inducements. Once again, the referee favours the girls and allows us to receive the kick-off. Our plan is simple, kill whatever's left of the Apple Juice and try not to concede too many touchdowns. Also, keep Vilsen (Claw, Tentacles, Guard Troll) away from EVERYTHING. As expected, Sataric isn't a complete idiot and leaves Fez out for now. One less bother on the field for us, I'll take it. We're given a generous sacrifice of 3 Goblins on the line of scrimmage but all the 3D Blocks in the world can't help us break their fragile armour. Bichelle Omaha Blitzes a Blitzer and Kandarian Bootfook throws the boot in to one of the downed Goblins (the ref decided we both got a Bribe at kick-off so, why not?), but all we get out of it is one knock-out. To top it all off, Kindness flubs the pick-up and the ball is left on the ground. The Apple Juice moves forward aggressively, intent on abusing their speed and capitalising on the failed pick-up, Elf-Style. Their blitz is about as useless as ours, but a Goblin on Gnoblar foul does see Backhand II leave the field, badly hurt. Turn 2 and we're already in danger of losing the half. The girls have to deal with the Loner Blizer and Stabil (Block, Leader Thrower) threatening the ball. In an odd display of competence, the Ogres build a 4-point cage, ready to protect Kindness as soon as he picks up the pigskin. Our newest addition, Lennifer Jaw-Rends takes a poke at Stabil, but the Thrower's cloth provides enough protection and he's just fine. Another foul by Kandarian Bootfook removes a Goblin from the pitch but it costs us our Bribe. And once again, Kindness fails to secure the ball. Wrestle and Leader... should've had Sure Hands. Sataric's fancy Wizard unleashes a bolt of lightning on to Paris Killton's face. Her armour holds, but now all that's standing between the Apple Juice and an easy pick-up are 2 Gnoblars. The hireling Blitzer doesn't manage to take one of the Gnoblars down, but Stabil doesn't give one singular damn. He hops in, picks up the ball and dodges out. What a hero. Unfortunately, he's not as good at running as he is at everything else and his attempt at closing in for an easy pass leaves him and the ball prone on to the pitch. A chance at redemption, perhaps? Paris and Lennifer combo a Goblin off the pitch and try to hold near the ball. Our third foul nets us our first injured Goblin, but it also gets Kandarian Bootfook sent off. It's OK, we got Ogres guarding the macguffin, right? Flummig (Wrestle, Tackle Linerat) shows us all how it's done, and in a display of pure madness he solo-Blitzes Lennifer and pushes her on to the ball. The scatter is excellent for the Apple Juice, right out of bounds. Pow! The throw-in makes things even better, all the way to the other side of the field where Frisk (Block, Kick Linerat) is perfectly positioned for the pick-up. There's nothing we can do to prevent the touchdown, now. Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley takes a shot at Skitter but only manages a stun and once it's back to the Underworld, they take no risks and run it in for the 0-1. Our inability to hurt Goblins bites us in the ass a little more when it turns out that the Apple Juice still don't have to put Fez on the field. We've used our Bribe and 3 of our rerolls. It does not look promising. On the bright side, Ellen and Dame Juicy Drenched finally wake up and injure 2 of the Gobbos on the line of scrimmage. We also get the ball in Hot Karl II's hands, so there's that. Sataric doesn't hold back. Skitter and a Linerat sprint for the back-field, hoping to chew up some Gnoblars and Vilsen tries to Blitz Dame Juicy but his stubby legs can't carry him far enough. Ellen's clearly had enough of this Rhinox-excrement and proceeds to crack Skitter's skull in half, our Gnoblars will be a little safer with that guy gone. Hot Karl II moves up on the right flank, we surround him with as many players as we can while Dame Juicy tries to hold back the left side. She takes a block and a foul for her troubles, but it does mean that there's a whole bunch of Underworld players focused on the wrong side of the pitch. Hot Karl II pushes forward some more, knowing he'll be getting tossed next turn. Ellen crunches more Goblin-bones and we set up as close to the opposing end-zone as we can. A desperate Blitz by Vilsen in to Ellen is easily dealt with by the Super Star and sets us up for a Throw Team-Mate play. Ellen grabs Hot Karl II by his tiny leather jacket and flings him across the field. The throw is excellent, but the landing isn't. We end the half 0-1. Fez finally joins the Apple Juice on the field, forcing us to spread out a little more than we'd like on the line. The kick is very close to the centre, right flank. Close to the Ogres, just the way we like it. Sataric's still hungry for casualties so he does have a few players on the left side block and foul Lennifer. She survives. In a strange attempt to Blitz and pick up the ball at the same time, Flummig is forced to Wrestle Amy Shawarma to the ground and causes a turnover. The ladies have 2 objectives on their turn: get the ball and knock down Fez. In classic Ogre-fashion, our Blitz turns in to a Bone-Head and Kindness fails yet another pick-up. That's 5 (2 rerolls) so far. Fez bounces around a little, Lennifer eats another foul and Kindness gets what he deserves in the form of a Blitz to his stupid, little face. Amy blocks Flummig and even while he's going down, the filthy rat ruins all of our plans as he pokes to ball away to safety before falling down, stunned, on to the pitch. Ellen gets involved again and punishes Frisk for that touchdown he made, another player removed from the field. The Apple Juice don't care much for our rude behaviour. Vass (rookie Blitzer) feels like it's time to get out of the scrum, so he grabs the ball and runs down field, solo. Dame Juicy makes a fancy Break Tackle play in an attempt to take him out, but in to more doesn't cut it. The rookie Blitzer dodges away and scores, 0-2 for 100% Apple Juice. Seeing as our best outcome is a 1-2, we fully commit to the line. There simply aren't enough turns left to win or even draw the game. And as per usual, Ellen shows the Star Players her elbows from very, very up-close. Ah, the little victories. Take what you can get, I always say! In yet another strange turn of events, Savage Compliment gets the ball in his mitts on the first try and jogs forth. The Apple Juice set up pretty far back so we have some room to manoeuvre around while keeping the Gnobbie safe. Vilsen takes another shot at Blitzing an Ogre, and again his legs give out right before he gets to hurt things. A downed Troll and very few players left, but several Bone-Heads prevent us from safely moving forward. We could play against the left side-line, but I really don't want any of my girls near this Troll. There's only one player who can keep the ball safe... motherflipping Ellen. She springs forth, stuns a Linerat and successfully catches the hand-off. Vass tries to make things more difficult but he messes up and almost dies trying to dodge away from Amy. Now, with the Blitzer gone, only Nuffle himself can stop Ellen from somewhat salvaging the game. Which he doesn't. Ellen scores with the grace and agility of a pregnant elephant. The match ends 1-2 for 100% Apple Juice. ----- All in all, this was one giant fustercluck for both sides. The gals started off slow, but after a while we just broke Sataric's players one after the other. The Troll, which was a huge threat on paper, failed a whole bunch of GFI's and only managed to injure one or two Gnoblars, which is fine by me. My favourite part is every turn where Fez is on the field. Because he goes round and round and round but never manages to hit ANYTHING. EVER! Good game to Sataric! May our third match (whenever it may be) be even more ridiculous!
  13. No story-time this week. but there's one for MD9! SATURDAY 21/07/2018 - 15h00 UTC. WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs 100% APPLE JUICE TWITCH YOUTUBE
  14. Season 7, Match Day 7: Against All Odds Watch the game HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs MERCIFUL MINIONS Ah, Dark Elves, our old nemesis. Looks like @Weljamir's been doing pretty well for himself even after getting destroyed in the first few games of the new Season. Bah, we'll just punch a few valuable guys and Loner will do the rest, right? GUESS AGAIN, IDIOT! The Women with Attitude strut on to the pitch with confidence. Not only does our opponent have 6 Loners on his side of the field, Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley is just aching to show off what an AG3 Ogre can do. The sky is clear, perfect Blood Bowl weather. Our 6th game this Season under the relative safety of the Fancy Rental's Magic Dome. Even the arrival of Weljamir's Wizard and Hubris Rakarth can't spoil our mood. The ladies receive on the first kick-off as a poorly aimed shot sees the ball thrown in to Ellen's greedy hands by the referee. Now that we finally have the coveted AG3 Ogre, Touchbacks are bound to happen more often. Ellen trots forward, protected by an escort of Gnoblars while the rest of the girls attempt to hit some Elves in the face. Our set-up grants us multiple 3D Blocks, but we only break Armour once, and it's a Stun. The referee even sends off Kandarian Bootfook after one single, ineffective Foul. The nerve! The Elves respond as most teams do, they take a shot at one of the Gnoblars and then proceed to break away from every single Ogre. The gals push on, desperate for Elf-meat, but there's none to be had. And to make things worse, the Wizard blows his load at the start of Dark Elf Turn 2. A Fireball comes down in a display of calamitous light, but as it nears the pitch it seems the Magic Dome somewhat stymied the meteor of death. A single fulminating rock smacks Ellen in the back of the head, knocking her out... the ball is loose and the Elves are ready to do what Elves do best. A few Blocks and a Stun on Dame Juicy Drenched allow Playmaker (Rookie Blitzer) to make a run for the pigskin, but his arrogance is only eclipsed by his incompetence as he fails his Dodge and knocks himself out. Silly Elves. Kindness, Gnoblar extraordinaire grabs the ball as Playmaker is carried off to the K.O.-Box. There's very few safe-spots for a Gnoblar when you're facing Elves, and this game is no exception. The Fist (Tackle Blitzer) moves in and takes down Kindness, Badly Hurt. Not only do we lose the ball, we lose our Leader-reroll in the process. And even though Paris Killton and Amy Shawarma are still guarding the ball, the Elves disrespectfully disagree with the concept of Tackle Zones and run off with the oval-shaped prize in their hands. A quick hand-off to Myrcry (Block, Mighty Blow Witch) and a Bone-Head, rerolled in to a couple of Both-Down dice secure the Touchdown. The Minions stall successfully. Every turn is a free Blitz on a Gnoblar and no matter how hard the ladies try, they cannot get through the (apparently impenetrable) AV8 of the puny Elves. Our own Armour proves less potent, as Hubris shows the Ogres how it's done. We think hard about calling in The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage since Amy's already suffering from "Minus AV-Syndrome", but the recent purchase of Lennifer Jaw-Rends simply means we cannot afford another replacement Ogre. The Macho Man steps on to the pitch and with a quick fingerbang, Amy's as good as new. I'm pretty sure that resuscitation-technique is illegal in most places in the Olde World, but hey, it worked. The half ends 0-1 for the Minions. Ellen returns for the a second coming, ready to put in the work we so desperately needed her to do before she got taken our by a burning pebble. The crowd, invigorated by the return of the Super Star, bullies the referee in to submission. Free bribes for all. I'm pretty certain that's to our disadvantage now that we don't have an Apothecary anymore. The Minions get their hands on the ball easily and decide it's probably in their best interest to take advantage of this "Bribe" they've received. Showing no signs of common decency, Ogloth, Lord of the Pitch is Fouled, MNG. Who the hell Fouls a Gnoblar? That's just cruel... . The ladies do what they do best: stand in the way. Our turns consist of trying to hold on to some form of a defensive line as Ellen goes around and smacks Elves in the sternum. The Minion's turns consist of picking on Lennifer, but her Armour proves to be of better make than Amy's, taking Fouls and Blitzes as the turns roll by. Two Stuns, both of them on Ogres, provide the Elves with the gap they needed. There's no way the girls can get up and run fast enough to catch a sneaky Elf after getting hit in the noggin' that hard. The Minions trickle down the sideline and after 13 Turns, Ellen figures it's time to crank the juice up to 11. Ha! Who's the Star Player now, Hubris? Would you like any sauces with that turf you're eating? BAM! Kraka-laka you little, emo sunuvagit! Our excitement is short-lived as the Dark Elves still score quite easily. 0-2 for the Minions (now without Hubris, this is very important). 3 Turns to go. Only a Throw Team-Mate play can get us a Touchdown. Unfortunately for us Nuffle has decided that we've had our fun. Sure, Ellen pops a Loner's skull somewhere near the end of the match, but the dreaded "Everybody Bone'Heads Turn" happens twice in a row and ruins any chance we have of getting a little extra SPP before the game ends... . ----- Good game to Weljamir. It's always nice when a coach somehow comes back after getting his team crushed at the start of a Season. Our own game was a little less impressive, with Ellen being the only one causing any Casualties as per usual. It's fun and all, having this giant menace run around the pitch, but once she's removed (even temporarily) things tend get rough. Our next opponent is Sataric, who also suffered many Casualties in his last game. And if the past is any indicator, we will probably lose horribly. Look forward to it!
  15. Hey, kids! Looks like it's time for another round of... *Phone rings* Haha, hold on a second, guys. ... Hello? What's that? I'm going to be working long hours and by the time I get home I'll be so mentally destroyed I won't have it in me to write a little story? Of course, I'm in! See you on Monday! *Hangs up phone* What? Go to sleep. Storytime's been cancelled for today. SUNDAY 15/07/2018 - 12h00 UTC. WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs MERCIFUL MINIONS TWITCH YOUTUBE
  16. I think this is at the upper end of the "good length" spectrum. It definitely requires a quiet moment, but it's very enjoyable.
  17. Season 7, Match Day 6: Battle for Inferiority Watch the game HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs BAT LOSERS If you ever needed a game to showcase why some people steer clear of Vampires and Ogres, this is the one. Usually it's pretty upsetting when you fail to perform the most basic actions, but when your opponent has the exact same problem, things get really interesting... . Before the game starts, I'd like to share some statistics. This game has: -> 15 failed Bone-Head rolls across 4 Ogres. 75% Bone-Head success rate. -> 11 failed Bloodlust rolls across 5 Vampires. 78% Bloodlust success rate. -> Vampires injuring their own Thralls while the Ogres can hardly manage a K.O. on the skinny buggers. -> Some truly terrible Block-dice from both sides. Let's get to it, shall we? ----- ----- ----- Back on their home turf, the Women with Attitude are keen on smacking some Vampires around after the mess they got in to last game. @jrpeart and his Bat Losers show up 30 minutes late and with half of their players missing. Apparently the Vampires got hungry on the way over. Bah, nothing a few crowd-volunteers can't fix! Both teams only have 11 players total so every bit of meat on the pitch matters more than ever before. 4 Ogres and 7 Gnoblars versus 5 Vampires and 6 Thralls (3 Loners). Since the ladies are down in TV, they get an additional Reroll and a Bribe to even things up. The whistle blows and the Ogres decide to try and empty the field of Thralls as quickly as possible. But the Vampires see through this plan and decide to Blitz forward with Count Cyryl the Blood Dragon (Blodge, Pro Vampire). He has a bit of trouble running far enough to catch the ball, but it's nothing his "Pro" skills can't resolve. The Bat Losers keep coming, swarming Count Cyryl in an attempt to protect him from a counterattack as they easily acquire the pigskin they kicked away only a few moments ago. The girls only have one option and her name is Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley. Ellen shoves a few Thralls aside and Blitzes the sneaky Count Cyryl in an attempt to get the ball out of his hands but even with a second try, the Vampire stays up. Amy Shawarma moves in as well, in an attempt to body-block the pale creature, but a Blitz and a Hypnotic Gaze later, the path is cleared. Count Cyryl rushes for the end-zone, but all that running gives his stomach the rumblies. It's a good thing one of the Thralls happened to be nearby to secure the Bat Losers a technical 1 Turn Touchdown. 0-1 for the Bat losers. Another kickoff, another chance. Both teams stick to their set-ups, except this time, no sneaky Blitz! The action on the line of scrimmage is mediocre, 2 Thralls Knocked Out, nothing permanent. Several Gnoblars surround the ball and Amy runs in for the pickup, which she then uncharacteristically fails. Seeing another opportunity for a quick score, the Vampires swoop in, snatching the ball from right underneath Amy's gut-plate. Not wanting to fall for the same trick twice, Ellen decides it's time to actually take the Ball Carrier down this go around. The scatter sees the oval atrocity move even closer to the Vampire-infested right side of the pitch. Bichelle Omaha sets up a chain-push which returns the ball to its rightful owner, Kandarian Bootfook. The little Gnoblar hasn't had much success with his fouls so far, but he does seem to understand that picking up the ball is generally an acceptable action. Count Mannfred von Drachenfeld (Blodge, Tackle Vampire) Blitzes the tiny Gnoblar, confident in his abilities to take out an opponent not even half his size. in to . Their first action of the turn, the Bat Loser do their name justice and screw up what should have been a simple play. Humiliated, Count Mannfred takes a turn off, face-down on the pitch. The Gnoblars rally around Kandarian Bootfook, the Gnoblar who slayed a Vampire and run as fast as their little legs will carry them. Upwards and onwards! The Vampires try for another Blitz, but once again they cannot make it work, the flimsy Gnoblar-cage proving effective enough to stop Duke Maxwell the Vain (Block Vampire). Unfortunately, Kandarian Bootfook is no longer safe, a small contingent of Bat Losers has set up further down field and the Women with Attitude simply can't run forward unopposed. The Ogres catch up to their tiny brethren and a hand-off later, Amy finally gets a hold of the ball, Ellen and Paris Killton protecting her from either side. Count Mannfred, eager to redeem himself, gets up and once again ruins his team's turn with a failed Bloodlust check. Unable to find a Thrall, he leaves the field in search of sweet, sweet blood and a manual on how to play Blood Bowl. Amy stumbles forward, ever so close to the Bat Losers' end-zone. The rest of the team has only one job; to stand in the way. It's a good thing we practice that on a daily basis! Having essentially wasted 2 of their turns, the Vampires are too far back to reach the gorgeous Ogre heading for the touchdown. They can only close in menacingly and pick on some Gnoblars. The Ogres stick to their plan, get Amy closer to scoring and form a living wall to keep the bats out. It actually works! By Turn 8, there's one Vampire standing next to Amy, but no attempt was made to knock her down. To nobody's surprise, Amy somehow fails to score. She claims one of her shoelaces was untied and that's why she couldn't Break Tackle away from the Vampire, but we all know Ogre don't wear shoes, ever. The half ends, still 0-1 for the Bat Losers. A little shaken by the failed attempt, the Ogres return to the pitch. It's time to play defence. In an unexpected turn of events, the Vampires decide to contest the 3 Big Gals on the line of scrimmage. Their guts and confidence once again proves lacking as they cannot seem to make much of a dent in the Ogre front line. Inefficiency is replied to with more inefficiency in this game, though! The girls Bone-Head and make some vague attempts at what looks like punching if you stand really far away and squint, but all-in-all it's a wasted turn. Whatever is left of the team and not on the line moves back, preparing for the inevitable Vampire Drive-by. The Bat Losers move forward, munching on Thralls left and right but somehow managing to secure the Ball Carrier a little further down field. Ellen attempts to get in on the action, but a simple push won't do and Duke Zorak Draco (Pass, Dodge Vampire) remains safe, ball in hand. The soon-to-be Hero of the game, Drazan Rutkow (Rookie Thrall) breaks free and runs down field, as far away from the action as he can. Duke Zorak tries to make a Pass, inaccurate but good enough. The ball lands right in front of Drazan's feet and even though Bichelle and one of the Gnoblars get close enough to contest the pick-up, it's of no use. Drazan makes them look like fools, LIKE FOOLS! Pick-up, dodge, flip the bird and score. 0-2 for the Bat losers. Third kick-off, hardly any players left on the Vampire side of the field. Ellen gives Duke Zorak a wink and blows him a kiss as he kicks the ball and it lands out of bounds. Touchback! An Ogre's best friend. She waves to the referee, signalling she wants the pigskin for herself. 5 Turns to go and our Star Player is now all we have left to get one damn Touchdown out of this game. Ellen runs back a few squares, securing her position while the 2 Ogres in the back try and run forward. Bichelle Knocks Out Duke Maxwell and our last foul of the game sees the Bat Losers' last Thrall leave the field. The final few turns consist of a strange shuffle, as both coaches are terrified of their respective B-word ruining the most crucial moments. The ladies move up, the Vampires take out a few Gnoblars but in the end... that's all they achieve. The pale bloodsuckers have no real weapon against the ball-carrying flesh-tank and Ellen runs it in for the touchdown. Finally securing her status as a Super Star. ----- ----- ----- An unfortunate loss that could've been a draw. But the fact that we're actually contesting several games means a lot to me. For this one, the lack of Ogres AND Gnoblars meant that we simply couldn't fight hard and fast enough to ensure the Vampires' Bloodlust would cost them the game. It was going to be tough so we went in with only 1 objective, get Ellen 2 SPP. Which we did! Yay! Good game to @jrpeart. We are cut of the same, unlucky cloth him and I.
  18. Well, good evening. Why are you kids still up, it's past your bed-time! Oh, you haven't heard a night-night story yet? Well I've got a special surprise for you! Tiny, baby Ogr-... The ground shakes, glasses of milk show ripples, Jurassic Park-style. Dame Juicy crashes through the wall, right next to an open door and bellows fiercely. The children seem to enjoy it. The narrator is visibly upset and has possibly soiled himself in fear. She sits down near the kids and puts about 7 of them on her lap. "TELL STORIES!" Dame Juicy yells, the kids join in and chant "Stories! Stories!". Defeated and still pretty sure he pooped his pants, the narrator continues the tale of the tiny, baby Ogre. Nurgle claws and boots did their ugly work that day, as Ogre after Ogre was wheeled off the pitch in pain. The nasty Vampire Magic may have helped the Nurgle team, but at least the Ogres managed to make some nasty Rotters scream. Tiny, baby Ogre did his best to help his pals, bandaging their wounds and putting ice-packs on the gals. The Ogre Captain, Ellen, had to sit out this nasty game, So she hung out with tiny, baby Ogre and told him the story of her name. You see kids, an Ogre's always named after a great feat, a battle or a war, or something really big they got to eat! In Ellen's case, she earned her name during a great war, where the Empire of Men hired Ogres for their corps. From very far away, she descended down the slopes, to support the Human troops and for quite a bit of gold! She faced an evil army of Chaos on that day, "Xenos" is what they called them, they thought they came from outer space. Ellen would do battle and hold fast on the front-line, while the silly, little humies would often run away and whine. She tore through ranks and ranks of the Chaos with her teeth, leaving little meat and bone, falling to the heath. "Ripper Ripley" 's what they called her, but Ellen did think, that the name was much too silly, so they changed it just a wink. Tiny, baby Ogre listened on with joy, as the scarred and mighty Ogre told her story to the little boy. "It's time to head back home" says Ellen as the sun descends, "We got our next match waitin' for us and you'll never guess who's next?" "The Vampire who did his nasty Magic won't be there, but we got one of his buddies to come play us fair and square!" Tiny, baby Ogre smiles and looks up at his friend "Another day on the Blood Bowl pitch, where the fun times never end." ----- ----- ----- The narrator looks up from his book and sees that Dame Juicy has fallen asleep, she's surrounded by kids, huddled up against the big, warm and fluffy Ogre. Oooooh... I hope she doesn't roll over... . WEDNESDAY 04/07/2018 - 19h00 UTC. WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs BAT LOSERS TWITCH YOUTUBE
  19. Season 7, Match Day 5: Float like a Butterfly, Cry like a Bitch. Watch the game HERE! SLIME PIT SLUGGERS vs WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE The players unaware, the coaches unusually prepared. The Women with Attitude face off against the Slime Pit Sluggers once more as Bantha's evil Swedish Magic does its work. Nurgle decides to receive once more, eager to cause some damage before the girls get their hits in. Kickoff, again. But to our surprise, a familiar face shows himself in the stands. @Suido chucks a rock at Wal-fagor (Block, Tackle, PTail Pestigor) as he screams in an incomprehensible tongue; "Get stuffed, ya drongo!". It's good to have allies in strange places. The kick itself is pretty good, landing all the way in the Sluggers' end zone. It will take Janus (Block, Extra Arms Rotter) some time before he can get the ball to the safety of the Nurgle huddle. Eager to fight, but unable to muster up enough Strength, a few 2 Red-Die Blocks are thrown on the line of scrimmage, both ending up in downed Ogres. Good enough, it allows the girls to disengage the Warriors on the line without having to risk a Dodge. The Sluggers keep pushing forward, only leaving 1 Warrior and 1 Pestigor behind to keep the ball carrier safe while the teams exchange Blitzes and Fouls on every turn, both squads thirsting for blood. Then, something strange happens. In their conquest for the Ogres' end zone, the Sluggers become too zealous and run right past the ladies. The Ogres respond by going around the wall of pus and strange smells, finding Janus in the back... all alone. The Sluggers have no choice but to pull back to the right side, Blitzing Amy Shawarma away and running Janus forward, surrounding him with Warriors. Still nearby, the girls try the good old fashioned "mark the one with the bright light on 'im" strategy. Bichelle Omaha pokes a Warrior to the side and plants herself next to Janus, While Amy and Miley Steambus keep a few other Nurglings busy. Unfortunately, it's not too hard for the Sluggers to shove the big gals aside and free up the ball. With 3 of the Ogres stuck on the northern side, Janus is now rather free to run forward. Empowered by his Rotter-friend's success, Hector the Crippled (Sneaky Git, Dirty Player Rotter) goes to work, smashing his dirty paws on the downed Dame Juicy Drenched's belly. The Ghost of Macho Man randy Savage rushes on to the pitch, carrying nothing but a feather and a giant sack of Ratman Poison. I decide against the use of the poison... . Dame Juicy is wheeled off (MNG). 4 Ogres remain on the field and Paris Killton is the only one who can put some pressure on Janus. The others are simply too far away and surrounded by Sluggers. But what most players would consider a lost fight, Paris sees it as an opportunity to prove herself. She breaks free, taking a Pestigor down on the way and marks Janus once more. As an added Bonus, Backhand II also makes it and puts the threat of Diving Tackle on the Nurgle Ball Carrier. But Raslurbat is unfazed. A Blitz, Paris stays upright but she's moved away from Janus, who simply walks away from the Diving Tackle Gnoblar as if it wasn't even there. Then, disaster strikes once more. Hector gets his 500th Foul off and ends Miley's short career. I call upon the Apothecary once more, our team can ill afford the loss of another Ogre. The Macho Man forces a handful of his Ratman Poison down Miley's throat and it somehow brings her back to life... but she'll never be the same as before (-MA). 3 Ogres remain. Paris does her best to keep the pressure on, constantly breaking away from the Sluggers' bodyguards and getting to Janus. But there's no more love from Nuffle for this half. Double Bone-Head stops her in her tracks. More fouls, blocks and dodges than I would ever dare to try without any rerolls go off without a hitch for our gooey opponent. This must be a side-effect of the Swedish Magic in play, here. The half ends 1-0 for the Sluggers. We set up for our offensive drive, beaten but not yet broken. As long as there's breath left in one of the girls' lungs, we WILL try to punch you. Our plan is to stay a bit further back and play safe. Maybe try and get Amy to pick up the pigskin, but an excellent Kick quickly ruins those plans. The ball falls so close to the line of scrimmage that the Nurgle team can pretty much just pick it up and run for the end-zone once more if they are so inclined. The ladies scramble forward, putting as much meat between the ball and the Sluggers as ogrely possible. Out of necessity, Savage Compliment (Catch Gnoblar) is forced to be the ball carrier. During all that, Bichelle doesn't lose focus and keeps the game-plan in mind: "hurt things!". It's just a Rotter, but we'll take what we can get! The Sluggers don't yield, having removed 10 points of Strength from the pitch in the first half, they are itching to keep the fight going. A few Gors stay back to protect the team from a very unlikely TTM-play. Bone-Head stops Paris from Blitzing and Foul Appearence halts Bichelle on the spot. What was supposed to be a turn where we freed up the Ogres quickly becomes all about the Gnoblars. They scurry, taking up as much space as possible, preventing the Sluggers from reaching Savage Compliment and his precious ball. Raslurbat continues to move his players in, but in doing so he floods the left side for a big foul on Paris. A Stun, thank the Great Maw. We try to move towards the right flank, aided by another removal. Take that, Janus! You sunuvagit! Not so dodgy now, huh? Little moral victories like this are more than welcome. We build a loose cage around Savage Compliment and move to the right side of the pitch, and then we hope for a stroke of luck to carry us forward. Wal-fagors has been waiting in the wings for a while and now it's his time to shine. He Blitzes one of the Gnoblars on the outside and fails spectacularly. + + in to + + . Another turn of relative safety for our ball carrier is achieved. Amy takes a boot to the dome as the Sluggers move back to the middle of the field. Another Stun, good enough for me. A Secondary loose cage gets built as we're unable to simply outrun the Sluggers. Paris also decides that she'll remove Hector from the field, since the referee isn't doing his job (K.O. on the Dirty Player). Again, we're relying on a bad Blitz from the Tackle-Gor. Raslurbat has other plans though, if he can't go through the Gnoblars, he'll go through the Ogres! Bichelle is swiped aside by the Beast and Dathazan Vullgu (Block Warrior) takes his shot. + + in to + + . Bad luck or incompetence, it does not matter. We finally have a little bit of room to move forward. 2 Ogres on the left side can form the protective shield we need to get Savage Compliment past the Sluggers' line. We think about trying to give the ball to Amy once more, but we're dissuaded when she doesn't take down the Rotter next to her. Same deal for Paris, she merely pushes the Gor nearby to the side instead of knocking him down. But we must go forward, pushes or no. Wal-fagors starts moving to the back-field and a failed dodge by the last remaining Rotter sees the Nurgle Team's turn end early. Excellent! Savage Compliment marches forward, accompanied by what's left of the Women with Attitude and he gets surprisingly far... . But alas, it wasn't meant to be. Paris takes a smack to the dome and makes room for Wal-fagors' Blitz on the poor, defenceless Gnoblar. Not only that, the ball scatters right back in to the Pestigor's hands, pretty much destroying every last bit of hope for a recovery play we have left. Amy tries to Break Tackle-Blitz the filthy beast, but it's yet another failure as our streak of 1's on Break Tackle rolls continues. Salt the wound. Wal-fagors sprints for the Ogres' side of the pitch and passes the ball to a nearby Warrior, Stehaz Lornosis (Block, Claw). Stehaz is apparently an Elf in disguise, he catches the pigskin, runs for the end-zone and several GFI's later the match ends. 2-0 for the Slime Pit Sluggers. ----- ----- ----- Straight Up Dawg Time: A painful loss, especially after a very good showing in our first attempt on Wednesday. I knew it was a bad idea to replay a game that went pretty well for me and I probably should have just talked to Raslurbat before arranging the rematch, to see if he'd be willing to accept a 1-1 draw and keep whatever SPP we earned. Oh well, lesson learned, I suppose. Also, a Goddamn shoutout to @Wabbajacked, who showed up in the Stream chat about halfway through the game. He's the coach for the Averland Artillery and you should read his Team Blog because it's dope as hell. Having someone to talk to definitely mellowed me out a little, because from Turn 4 onward, I was just cursing and whining my way through this game. This VOD probably has more profanity in it that all my other ones combined. Lastly (is that a word?), what do you guys think of the longer, fluffier, more-pictures-of-the-game reports? It takes a bit more time, but I enjoy making them. Good game to @Raslurbat. Sorry for being salty during the game and best of luck to him (and me) for future matches.
  20. Season 7, Match Day 5: Winner, Winner, Elf for Dinner. Watch the game HERE! SLIME PIT SLUGGERS vs WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE The Women with Attitude exit the pitch after an excellent second half. Raslurbat was smitten by the Gods near the end of the game, so the referee awarded the ladies with a 1-3 victory. The girls played a solid game, good positioning, great hits and more importantly; no serious injuries on any of the Ogres. What a time to be alive! The Ogres make their way to the locker room, when suddenly, a voice echoes from the darkness... "Tick, töck, tick, töck, C3PO!". That voice, that terrible accent... it's @Bantha, King of the Vampiers. The handsome coach treads lightly as he approaches the cloaked figure that's hiding in the shadows. "What do you want from me, Brother B?" he softly speaks, as to not alarm any of the team members. "You have nöt earned this win!" Bantha snarls, very Swedishly. "I will bend time and space. Your team will nöt remember. Gö back and earn your victory för a change!". The handsome coach whimpers and shakes his head but it's already too late. Bantha pulls out a can of surströmming and flings it at the handsome coach's face. The broth explodes in a miasma of horrible smells and stickyness, instantly knocking the handsome coach out. He wakes up, surrounded by his team. "You OK, boss?" Dame Juicy inquires. "'Urry up, the game's gunna start!" Bichelle interjects. It's been done, the day has been reset. The handsome coach sees the Slime Pit Sluggers walk on to the pitch, Raslurbat standing with them. In the distance, he hears laughter... . "HÅHÅHÅHÅHÅHÅ!"
  21. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, yeeeeeeeeah! Oooh, hey kids! It's your old pal, The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage! Yeah! It seems I'm unable to return to my Eternal Rest until I've redeemed myself for introducing the narrator's face to a concrete wall, yeah. SO GET READY FOR STORY TIME, OOH YEAH! The tiny, baby Ogre looks over to his team, the Women with Attitude, oh, how they beam! Yeah! Their game against Skaven wasn't all that, but they sure showed those Orcs they weren't all bad! Yeah! With a whoop and a wallop they crunched all their skulls, knuckeling those dusters until they grew dull. The game was a draw, but the ladies looked pleased, prepared for their next match against the diseased! Yeah! They leave home once more, and head on the road, tiny, baby Ogre always in tow. "We head for the Slime Pit" the Captain proclaims, knowing full well she was missing the game. Her injuries hurtin', her legs in a cast , but you can't blame the Macho Man, HE DID HIS BEST! Yeah! "It's OK, Ellen, I'll play in your stead!", said tiny, baby Ogre, clouds in his head. "You 'ave spirit, little 'un" Ellen replied, "But wait a lil' while, 'till you grow to full size!" Tiny, baby Ogre feels a little dismayed, but he listens to Ellen. She's to be obeyed! Yeah! The big girls arrive at the Slime Pit, so foul, and are lead to their locker by a man in a cowl. "Here are some drinks, they are on the house!", ... But the MACHO MAN NOTICED that something was amiss, yeah! He grabs the scrawny man by the neck and rips off his hood only to reveal SNEAKY SIDLEY! The coach that was NEARLY DEFEATED by the Women with Attitude last week! Oh, the Macho Man could smell his Orc-stench over the Nurgle Rot and quickly Diving Double Axe Handled him in to the lockers. BAM! POW! Sidley goes DOWN! Yeah! The Macho Man had saved the team from his poison and dodgy ways yet again. And so he had REDEEMED himself and was allowed back in to the HEAVENLY BLISS OF THE AFTERLIFE! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, yeeeeeeeeah! *The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage performs a Lariat Takedown on the table in front of him and vanishes in to thin air. The usual narrator walks back in to the room.* Well, that was supposed to be lemonade and not poison in that last bit, and I'm sure he completely gave up on trying to rhyme... but at least he gave it his all. And that's what really matters! Hopefully you'll join us next week. Bye, bye! WEDNESDAY 27/06/2018 - 19h00 UTC. SLIME PIT SLUGGERS vs WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE TWITCH YOUTUBE
  22. An excellent report!! What a great game. A bit of luck both good and bad made it enjoyable. I recommend the reply for Ogre coaches or those about to play them. And this game proved the value of spending the big cash on a star player or two. Both teams will have players in street clothes for the next match. Maybe Nuffle or the OCC scheduling committee will see fit to have these teams square off next season. Until then, good luck to the ladies. Sincerely, Sidley
  23. Season 7, Match Day 4: Sneaky Sidley Returns. Watch the game HERE! WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs CUYAHOGA RIVER BENDS It's time for the first rematch of Season 7, as the Women with Attitude face the Oogabooga River Bends once more. Our first outing against @Sidley and his band of green goons was in Season 4, the Women's first Season in the OCC2. The ladies lost that game 1-0, but it was a fun and friendly match overall. One advantage (sort of) we had back then, was that Sidley insisted on fielding 2 Orc throwers and the rest of his squad was rather underdeveloped. This time around, the tables have turned. Even though the Bends still have 2 Throwers on their roster, the rest of the team comes with 2 or 3 Level-ups on nearly every player, making them a potent opponent. But I've come prepared! Since Amy Shawarma will be sitting this game out, I've got some Inducement money to spend. I know that most people go for Wizards and Bribes and the cheaper Star Players with all the tactical mumbo-jumbo and planning and strategy,... but not this guy. I feel like the girls need someone to look up to, someone they can aspire to be, so we hire Brick Far'th (and Grotty) to round out our team. You should've seen it, the ladies' pants drooling with excitement over the bearded badass. But enough about Ogre genitalia, lets get to the game. ----- I immediately feel a little demoralised at the start of the match when I notice Sidley filled the Stadium with cardboard cutouts of Dan DeVitorc (famous Orc Actor), giving him the much coveted +2 Fan Factor. He's also one of the few coaches that invested into +2 Cheerleaders and Assistant Coaches so he's got the edge on us there as well. I can only hope that this doesn't end up impacting the game too much. Sidley bravely decides that the 1-2 grind is where it's at and he allows the Women to receive the first Kickoff. I find myself a little lost during set-up but we do our best. I decide not to field Grotty right away because I'm scared he'll get hurt and I'd rather save him for later (I'm still not sure if this was a good call or not...). The ball is kicked towards the Ogre team and both squads receive a free bribe. The ref is probably pretty distracted by all those Dan DeVitorcs in the audience... . Excellent! Turn 1, a little action on the Line of Scrimmage results in a Stun on Sam Rutigliano (Troll), another Stun on DeLeone Mot (The Bends' Star Line Orc) and a Knock out on Dieken Digger (Black Orc). We did use a reroll because Miley Steambus tried Blocking with her face, but a Foul by Kandarian Bootfook Knocks Out DeLeone so I'm pretty pleased when it's all over. The Bends' turn sees Softness II eat a handful of dirt, but it's nothing he can't recover from after a little nap. The rest of the Orcs position themselves more to the back and one of the Blitzers goes for the reach-around. Since the Orcs are down 2 players already and their Troll hasn't gotten back up yet, there's a chance the ladies can just run a cage on the left side of the field. Dame Juicy Drenched tries to clear a path and... . Turkey Jones was not prepared for the patented "Ten-Ton Elbow" and just like that the Bends are down a very valuable player for the remainder of the game. We set up some excellent protection on the left side, following in Dame Juicy's footsteps, but a failed pickup costs us another reroll and the second fail ends our turn. The Orcs get a bit more brazen. Sam moves in to contact with Ellen Rip-You-A-Part-Ley and Darden (Blitzer) has another go at one of the Gnoblars but fails to break its armour. Shamed by his poor performance, he GFI's next to the loose ball and 2 other Gnobbies, hoping to redeem himself. What follows next is the mandatory "Everyone Bone-Heads Turn". Paris Killton and Ellen take a turn off while Bichelle Omaha takes it one step further. Not only does she Bone-Head instead of Blitzing, she eats the third reroll and still decides to stand around doing nothing. Our Gnoblars are left to fend for themselves and they actually manage to knock down Darden. Kandarian Bootfook goes in for the foul, but the Orc remains on the field. The Bends' seize this opportunity, GFI-ing their way back to the middle of the pitch. Apparently all of these Orcs are sprinters, because they make it with ease. Not only that, Sam brings down the hammer on Ellen's pretty face and takes her out of this game and the next. The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage is brought on to the pitch, and he reckons that we could prevent this MNG by permanently crippling Ellen's back. I disagree and our prized Ogre is carried off to the sidelines. Once again our Apothecary is spent early and doesn't provide any relief. Now all of the Orcs and Ogres are committed, no more dancing around. Dame Juicy's still hot and bothered and proceeds to Knock out Motley Marion, another Black Orc removed from the field. Our brave Gnoblars poke the Blitzer that's been haunting them some more and Bichelle takes a chance on Groza the Toe (+MA, Mighty Blow blitzer). She manages to take the Orc down, a Stun. Luckily for us, as Bichelle is making her way back to the scrum, she trips and falls over on to Groza, taking him out of the game. Sidley proclaims that it's time for his Apothecary to show us how it's really done, but in a cruel twist of fate it turns out both our "doctors" went to the same school and the Bends agree that MNG is probably better than a -MA. It's nice to find common ground with your opponent sometimes. Unfortunately the Gnoblars still haven't quite figured out how to hold this strange object we call "the ball" and after 3 turns of trying, we cannot waste more rerolls on these shenanigans. The Orcs continue to fight back, isolating Paris with a Blitz, followed up with a foul by a Thrower of all things. The ref spots this anomaly, but he's quickly dissuaded from sending the player off by a large sack of cash. Paris, fortunately for us, survives the ordeal but she'll need a turn to recover. It's time to move up. Not only to protect Paris, but the clock is ticking and we don't move all that fast. Finally, we manage to snatch up the pigskin. We also succeed in bringing it over to a safe space on the left side of the pitch so all-in-all, pretty good stuff. The Bends can't afford to play it safe and move in on Miley, very close to the edge of the pitch. A Knock Out on the rookie Ogre rewards the risky move, but some dodgy plays by Ogloth, Lord of the Pitch allows the ladies to retaliate and Knock Out Cousineau in return. 3 Orc Blitzers down. We were forced to move the ball back, however, which means we are now relying on Throw Team-Mate to make up for the distance we cannot possibly cover on foot. The last remaining Blitzer injures a Gnoblar and a Black Orc gets the K.O. on Ogloth. Both teams combined now have 12 players on the field. We move the ball up once more. Our attempt at pushing one of the remaining Black Orcs off the pitch fails and costs us our last reroll. The Throw Team-Mate play just got a whole lot more difficult. The Orcs move in on the Ogres once again in an attempt to make the Pass as hard as possible. We go for it anyway, Brick Far'th is in range but he chooses this turn to Bone-head for the first time. The TTM-duty now falls on Bichelle and it's a fumble. Backhand II sticks the landing, which is usually the most difficult part, but he doesn't fly very far and the half ends 0-0. The Women with Attitude don't get any K.O.'s back (Ogloth and Miley) but the Bends see one of the Blitzers and their fancy Line Orc return to the field. 4 Ogres, Grotty and 6 Gnoblars face off against 2 Blitzers, 2 Black Orcs, a Troll, 2 Throwers and 2 Line Orcs. We set up forward... probably too far forward. I can hear @Borke disapprove in the distance. But our stupidity is rewarded by a kick very close to the middle of the pitch. Nuffle blesses the idiots once more! The Bends scramble and secure the ball, they even manage to kill Hot Karl in the process. Poor, sexy Hot Karl... . The Ladies disengage and spend a bit of time working on their positioning. Bichelle throws a Blitz in to Darden, but it's just a push. Sidley's Bends pretty much do the same thing. There's a little more commitment from Sam the Troll but most of the Orcs move back and look for an opportunity to break through the few Ogres that remain on the pitch. After several turns of back-and-forth, it happens. The Thrower, Kozar Plates makes a hand-off to Cousineau and the lone Blitzer runs towards the Ogre's end-zone. His only protection, DeLeone Mot, King of the Line Orcs. The girls now have 2 choices; try for the unlikely Blitz on the ball-carrier with Grotty which requires several dodges around a Tackle-player to make it a 1-die (with a Loner) or the good ol' "base the ball carrier with a giant Ogre"-strategy. We go for the latter. Bichelle crunches DeLeone down and GFI's next to Cousineau, showing off once again that +MA is always the right choice. The Bends are forced to retreat and a funky attempt at a hand-off back to Kozar fails, leaving the ball on the ground. What follows is a best-case scenario turn for the Women with Attitude. Our Gnoblars break free, Grotty moves in on the ball and Paris struts her stuff in front of the Legendary Brick Far'th. Bam, 3 Blitzers permanently removed from the pitch. To put the cherry on top of this glorious turn we even manage to pick up the pigskin on the first try and hand it off to Grotty. The only player capable of Blitzing him down is Siper Tax, the Bends' primary Thrower. Unfortunately for us, that's exactly what happens. Grotty takes a Stun and we now enter the part of the game where 2 bashy teams fight each other around the ball for several turns. The girls try and cut this scrum short by Blitzing a Thrower on to the ball, but the scatter is pretty terrible and we're forced to try and 5+ the ball away from the greenskins. Kitchen Sink III takes his best shot, but fails, the Orcs even K.O. him for his trouble. It's Siper Tax's turn to live dangerously. The Orc moves in, snatches the ball from right under Brick's bushy beard. The Legendary Ogre is not in the mood for this crap and he sticks out his hairy foot right as the Thrower runs past, causing a turnover and another shot at the ball for the ladies. It's Grotty's time to shine! After the big gals make a little more space, the agile Goblin sneaks in, grabs the ball and moves to safety, surrounded by Ogres on all sides. 2 turns left to run for the end-zone and exactly 12 squares to go. The Bends do their best, but they no longer have enough fast players to keep up with the sneaky Gobbo. Grotty sprints forward and the ladies move in on the Orcs. There's now a large open space between our ball-carrier and every member of the opposing team, with a wall of Ogre brawn in between. The win is almost guaranteed. The only play Sidley has is an insane Blitz past multiple tackle zones, in to multiple GFI's with a fairly decent chance of getting the knock down on Grotty. He goes for it and watches in awe as DeLeone weaves past the wall of meat to put down the Goblin ball carrier. The girls have one more chance. Bichelle Bone-Heads at first but then makes a dash for the end-zone. 1 GFI, check. Our receiver is in place. Kindness, our most valuable Gnoblar is now tasked with making a Pass to the lone Ogre. He gets the pickup, which is an achievement in itself and goes for the long pass. Sadly, DeLeone is not done styling on us and he promptly intercepts the ball. The game ends 0-0. ----- As you may have noticed by the 6 page long report, this game had a lot of stuff going on. And it was a lot of fun on top of that. I'd definitely recommend watching it if you have a few hours to spare. Near the end, Sidley and I joke about how the crazy plays always work when they have to, right before they actually happen... even the interception was foretold by yours truly. A few SPP for us, Grotty got the MVP unfortunately and Ellen won't make the next game. But still, I feel like I played well. My positioning was a lot better than it normally is and we got a little lucky with the injuries on the Orcs. Good game to Sidley. May we meet on the pitch again, good sir!
  24. Well, hello there! You're here early today. Looks like last week was a pretty rough one for the Women with Attitude, let's check in with the tiny, baby Ogre and see how the team's handling everything. I'm sure that the power of friendship will get them all through this difficult time in their li-. Wait,... what's that sound? It almost sounds like... . oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, yeeeeeeeeah! *A ghostly bicep clotheslines the narrator in to the nearest wall, immediately knocking him unconscious.* OH, YEAH! The Macho MADNESS is here once again! Yeah! Even on the Astral Plains of Non-Existence, news quickly spread of the epic rematch between the Women with Attitude and the Cuyahoga River Bends, yeah! The Bends are still under the supervision of @Sidley, one of the more corrupt and backstabbing members of the Orca Cola Administration. Last time these Orcs faced the Premium Power of the Overpowering Ogres, they barely eked out a victory, yeah, mostly because of their cheatin' and underhanded ways, yeah! But, oooh, we've come prepared this time, Sidley, yeah! There is exactly ZERO percent chance that the green machine will trick our girls in to another loss, yeah. We've done the math and we've done the science, yeah, and we're CONFIDENT that the only outcome for the Bends is a DEVASTATING DEFEAT! You've only faced PANSY PUSHOVERS so far, Sidley! Yeah! But now, the kiddie play-dates are over and it's time for some FULL-CONTACT FACE-TIME between the Ogres' fists and those faceholes you Orcs call noses! Yeah! YOU NAME THE TIME AND YOU NAME THE PLACE BECAUSE THE MACHO MAN AIN'T SO GOOD AT GEOGRAPHY OR READIN' THE CLOCKS, yeah! But one thing he's very good at, yeah, is talkin' the talk and walkin' the walk and he just got himself some brand new boots, yeah. And these boots were made for walkin', yeah, AND THE WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU! Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, yeeeeeeeeah! *The narrator wakes up in a daze, as The Ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage vanishes back in to oblivion* What the... . Oh, my head. Well, it looks like there isn't any time left for a story about the tiny, baby Ogre this week. I should probably check-in to the nearest Apothecary because I'm pretty sure I have a severe concussion. I'm sure you'll join me again next week as we pick up where we left off. Oooh, the room is spinning. I'm,... I'm going to throw up. *Static* SATURDAY 23/06/2018 - 12h00 UTC. WOMEN WITH ATTITUDE vs CUYAHOGA RIVER BENDS TWITCH YOUTUBE
  25. Just a quick update, we've rerouted the plumbing from our player's bathroom in to the Skaven tunnels below the Stadium. Also, the cafeteria is now only serving large plates of prunes, figs, dates and raisins.
  26. Fair and balanced game that was, Yes-Yes!
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